John Bishop @JohnBishop100 Twitter profile

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John Bishop

9 days

Due to huge demand, we’ve added extra dates, and tickets are ON SALE NOW! 🎉 Celebrate 25 years of stand-up with me in 2025—tickets are just £25 (plus fees). Grab yours now and I’ll see you there!

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Last Seen Profiles

@tweetsbyjustyce

@hsngtrbl

@offsec

@FlappyComics

@LesterShum

@hhhhd1976

@BottomfromNl

@BBCdunyana

@KlaudiaVah84605

@mdbdllh451

@KlaudiaVah84605

@MetaLifeTech

@KlaudiaVah84605

@3xdeet

@4n_d0

@hovnania_l

@Reylope13

@BailieChen9997

@stw46

@Dosreis23000

@johnyxrapid

@CleaLaurie24948

@OMarycathe72292

@NixUn9923

@BuchinyanO

@NaveenSimm81294

@yashasvijaiswa

@Tmanc3

@RoshawnSha30702

@penyukastw21

@HarryJadin72046

@na33oume

@jieni4396

@VAkeim45844

@janson_chris

John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

We were lucky enough to have Bilko with us for almost 14 years . A beautiful soul and I will miss him massively. He saw our children grow from boys to men and was ready to give us all love. Take a chance on a rescue dog and you could be lucky enough to find a best friend too ❤️

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

At first I thought its a shame my tour has ended as there is a lot to say about @BorisJohnson and @RishiSunak but then I realised its not a time for jokes. As a nation we deserve at the very least to be led by people who do not break their own laws and then lie to us about it.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

WTF is this ?? I don't care who you are or who you work for you simply can not write things like this. It is a blatant appeal to incite humiliation and violence on a woman. Some have excused it as dark humour. There is mo joke here @JeremyClarkson and no excuse.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

Proud to be part of the team. For final tickets go to and support @UNICEF_uk #SoccerAid

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

Coldplay with @niallofficial and @ollyofficial A brilliant way to spent the evening before…

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

I am shocked and saddened at the news of the loss of Sean Lock. He was a brilliant comedian but more importantly he was a great person on so many levels . He will be missed hugely.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

I went to the GP . Nothing serious, a check up and a repeat prescription.The pharmacy dispensed the meds and charged me a small fee. It was easy. When something is so easy you may not notice how precious it is. If we loose it we will never get it back. Vote well #preciousNHS

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

11 years

@NiallOfficial you and me can have a penalty contest in the warm up only using our heads-if my teeth don't hit the ground I think I will win

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

1 year

Keep going on Carol. They need to be made accountable by the main stream media and also the opposition parties. The amount of corruption perpetrated by the Conservative government in the last 5 out strips anything I have known and its that common it almost expected

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

I am professional comedian but I can't beat that ! 🤣🤣🤣

Rt Hon Nadine Dorries

@NadineDorries

2 years

The PM’s priority is to stabilise the government, set a clear direction for the country and continue to deliver on the promises he made and the British public voted for.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

11 years

@NiallOfficial @x_emmahoran_x I missed on purpose to make the crowd happy! Niall it's not as easy as dancing and singing with your mates :-)

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

One day we will look back and wonder how the hell did someone as inept, and untrustworthy as Boris Johnson get the keys to number 10. The most important job in the country given to a man who is the epitome of what is wrong where entitlement and privilege replace talent.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

This came through on Christmas Day This is the worst illness I have ever had, debilitating headaches, muscle joint and even skin pain, dizziness, nausea, no appetite, incredibly chronic fatigue . My wife and I are fit non smokers and it's flattened us. I don't wish this on anyone

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

WTF !!! And they think they can just get another Tory in !!! Unacceptable

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

11 months

This is incredible and should not be lost in all the other news. This person holds one of the most senior jobs in government and he lied about saying this. He now apologises. 1. Saying it at all is a reflection on what this government think of the rest of this country. 2. Lying

Omid Djalili

@omid9

11 months

Has anyone ever called another person a “shithole”? Feeling the need to lie about everything all the time is truly remarkable.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

At the gate in Paris - been here for 25 minutes and nobody has been allowed in - disgraceful treatment of fans who are displaying an unbelievable level of patience

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

11 years

@ollyofficial @NiallOfficial may be the only game where @RobbieSavage8 doesn't have the worst hairstyle.See you there http://t.co/0k2nT3V4CZ

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

Liz Truss has to go and as the Tories selected her as PM they have lost the right to be the only people who get to decide. If we do not have a general election soon we will have a general strike because people can't keep having no say in their own future

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

The fact that the BBC have suspended @GaryLineker for having an opinion illustrates what a scared institution it is. The word refugee has become an insult. The fact that a good goalscorer can't speak about it is and threatens the political structure shows how fragile it all is .

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

We must never forget Johnson is a product of the Conservative Party. They created him and he was their poster boy. Lets not be deceived into believing they suddenly saw the light. Now he sits doing nothing till old Etonians pick a new leader ...ffs when are we going to change !!

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

The police suggesting that the family of Henry Vincent should be allowed to place floral tributes opposite the house he tried to rob is a disgrace. He was a sum bag who preyed on pensioners. Tributes condone his actions and imagine how it makes Mr Osborn-Brooks feel. Disgusting!

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

This is the best thing I have seen for ages

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

1 year

How many examples are required to show that the Tories represent the worst of us. What spiteful pointless action to take. There is nobody in France deciding not to get in a boat because Mickey Mouse is not on the wall. Displaced children deserve compassion and we deserve a better

Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺

@Haggis_UK

1 year

WTF Home Office!! Robert Jenrick(Immigration Minister) has had Mickey Mouse & other cartoon characters, inside an asylum center for children in Dover, painted over because he thought it sent to welcoming a message. #BBCBreakfast

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

What happened to this country that feeding poor children is even a debate.? Food poverty is not something we should ever accept as normal . @MarcusRashford has been brilliant but the fact that he needs to do this is a sign of political failure of embarrassing proportions

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

6 years

Love this. Well done Roy - if the interview isn’t going well always best to start again 😂😂

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

I know we are all sick of politics but don’t let that stop you from voting. It is a hard fought for right to determine the future of our country which I believe needs a change away from the Tories . Labour or Lib Dem - just not 5 more years of Tory lies, cruelty and incompetence

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Honour to meet Sean Cox and his family today. The Dublin fund raiser gig sold out in 15 minutes and I thank everyone for their support. We are finalising details for a Liverpool gig which I hope to announce very shortly . Some things are more important than football ⚽️ ❤️🙏

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

This is my mum and I love her. That’s all x

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 months

Regarding my show on Sunday evening……. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿⚽️ #itscominghome

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Football is Liverpool as champions being hammered 7-2 by Aston Villa . A 'super league' kills what football is about but it would give me a lot of time back because I would never watch it .

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

This should be shocking but sadly it will not surprise most people . The Conservative party are a disgrace and need to go and watching this the fact that @KwasiKwarteng once ran the economy is frightening - no wonder he crashed it!! Well done @ByDonkeys

Led By Donkeys

@ByDonkeys

2 years

🚨MPs FOR HIRE: a Led By Donkeys undercover investigation🚨 Watch the trailer…

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

Dreams do come true. Had anyone told me as a boy that one day I would be meeting a dalek on TV I would never have believed them. It was made all the more special by working with such great people on @bbcdoctorwho

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

I for one feel reassured that the government have at last recognised that this virus only gets busy after 10pm. It’s also knows if you are at a funeral or a wedding. It can also spot if you can’t work from home or are at school and that it’s always your 7th mate who has it.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Landed in Iceland yesterday - tested at the airport and had the results a few hours later. No need for quarantine and Iceland is back to normal. It is apparent how badly the UK response has been when you go somewhere else even accepting difference in population size

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

If you are a member of parliament and you voted against extending free school meals hang your head in shame. An opportunity to unite the country and display some compassion has been lost when we needed it most.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

How can an unelected prime minister suspend parliament? If people did not believe politics is broken this proves it

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

We have to start asking is it right that a prime minister can be dropped on the nation without an election. How many times do we accept the leadership of the country being dictated by the internal fighting of the Conservative Party?

Marcus Chown

@marcuschown

2 years

Their incompetence is terrifying. But what really stuns me is their cruelty, lack of empathy and lack of basic humanity.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Just watched @BorisJohnson on @BBCOne news and now it’s clear why he has avoided interviews - complete waffle without substance . Impossible to see how having him as prime minister would make this country a better place .

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

A zoom call with my mum and dad who today have been married for 61 years. I love the bones of them ❤️

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

These 2 just became the two most powerful politicians in the country ! I can't see how that is a good day for the UK

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

From the first black president to a man endorsed by the KKK ...nothing like progress 🇺🇸

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

97 names to be remembered today. As always my hearts goes out to them and also to their families and the survivors who still live with the pain of that day . #YNWA

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Watching @BBCBreaking when D-Day veteran Harry Billinge was asked what lessons would he pass onto the young people of today having survived the horrors of war he said ‘love each other there is a lot of hate in the world and a lot of greed - love is the strongest thing on earth’❤️

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Thank you for all the amazing feedback from the whale documentary on @ITV over the last two nights. Please follow @BelugaSanctuary and @SeaLifeTrust for updates and to support Little White and Little Grey . It has been the experience of a lifetime and I have to thank all involved

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

I think it's fair to say if they had a box on the ballot paper saying 'I am pissed off but don't want to really leave' that would have won 😜

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

I have retweeted a few tweets of support for @KenLoachSixteen . My position is clear- Ken Loach does not have prejudiced bone in his body. He is one of the most honourable men I know and I would stand with him till I could stand no more - then I would kneel. #IStandWithKenLoach

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

A proper gent. RIP Paul .

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

My son asked on our family whatsapp group what we all felt about the news . My wife's reply was .... Overwhelmingly sad .. wether you were a monarchist or not her sense of duty and commitment to her role as monarch was unparalleled x I think she worded perfectly what we all feel.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Don’t be a dickhead - don’t panic buy and leave other short of essentials and don’t abuse shop staff - the way you act at time’s like these define who you truly are . Is bog roll really worth loosing your dignity over 🤔

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

I strongly support the campaign started by @MarcusRashford to get the gov to change policy and supply free school meals to the most vulnerable children during the summer as in Scotland and Wales. You do not stop being in need because term ends Pls RT and support #maketheUturn

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Thank you for all the messages of support regarding my recent positive Covid test. I have been overwhelmed and moved by the amount of messages privately and publicly. Every day we are getting a little stronger and I will be back at work in Jan. Keep safe and Happy New Year John x

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

6 years

Watching the news and I find it amazing that we elected these people to run the country. The level of ignorance, stubbornness and arrogance is staggering .

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

6 years

Best photobomb ever by @kennethdalglish 😊

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

1 year

Johnson is the Conservative Party . He is the personification of their morales and policies. Removing him and keeping them solves nothing . They have to be removed at the first possible opportunity.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

I was there @jeremycorbyn never mentioned trident . @BorisJohnson is telling a lie. How anyone takes this idiot seriously is beyond me

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

7 years

. @BorisJohnson has his say on @jeremycorbyn 's appearance at the "Glah-stonbury" festival. #Glastonbury2017

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

27 years ago 96 people were killed unlawfully. To their shame the authorities covered it up. Time for truth and time for justice. #JFT96

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

wow ! It would be laughable if it were not so serious. These people treat our government like its their private club and they are so out of touch that I fear it will take civil unrest to force them to do the right thing and hold a general election

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Can anyone ever remember a time when we all felt the government knew what they were doing?

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

1 year

I just boarded a flight home after a week in New York working in some of the best comedy clubs in the world. It was like a comedy boot camp, 18 gigs in 6 days walking onto stages where 99% of the people had never heard of me. It was great to get back to that feeling of starting

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Unbelievably we are again handing our nations fate to the Conservative Party membership. They will pick the next prime minister from a rag tag bunch without us having a say. The Labour Party needs to look at itself - if you can not be better than this shower something is wrong

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

Has a much needed holiday with this one. Nobody I would rather spend time with ...love is that simple ❤️

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

I know Virgil van Dijk isn’t what a middle aged man should want for Christmas but thank you Santa 🎅😊😊

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Yep....just when I needed a doctor. Looking forward to 2021 😊

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

I was just sent this ....sums it all up really !!

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

A ribbon can be a powerful thing

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

I love this picture taken on the set whilst filming Dr Who. The first episode is out tonight and I can't wait to see it . I loved my time on the show and spending time with Jodie and @MandipGilI who are now real friends. I hope you enjoy it I feel lucky to be part of the legacy

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

1 year

Long Live The King

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Thank you everyone for the support for tonight’s documentary on @itv . Tomorrow is filled with more twists and turns and is well worth watching at 9pm. It has been an epic project to be part of and I feel very very lucky to have had that experience 🙏

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

Sat on a train to London behind a blind lady with a guide dog and the consideration and respect being given to both her and the dog from the @VirginTrains staff and fellow passengers is the type of thing that cheers you up on a dull Wednesday morning 😊

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

That is why football is the greatest game in the world #YNWA

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Boris Johnson is the prime minister ........ something has gone wrong with the universe when that sentence can be true

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

6 years

There is no place bad enough for cowards like this .

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

Watching Conservatives giving a standing ovation to a man they just kicked out makes you wonder how two faced can they all be ?

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

Its been brillint to watch this tournament. Next week we have to go back to diving, rolling around like you have been shot, verbal abuse to officials and attempts to get opponents booked. Lets enjoy the purity of football whilst we can. You have done us proud 🙏🙏

Lionesses

@Lionesses

2 years

WE ARE EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS! 🤩🏆

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

@GretaThunberg You are an inspirational person. You have breathed life into the climate debate that was failing to get the attention it deserved. Whatever happens with the world it is a better place with you in it .

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

10 years

I look like a Dad about to have a kick about with the son I have been having a bad hair competition with ! http://t.co/XXGU73M7d6

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 months

A lovely moment with Francis in Galway 🇮🇪 #comedy #standup #comedian

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

This is brilliant

Cary Cooper

@ProfCaryCooper

4 years

This is how civilised & considerate is Canada!

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

I am a @UKLabour supporter but do us a favour and meet us half way - don't let anyone talk to Diane Abbot about anything she just gets worse

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Well done @Schofe . A brave step that will help so many others. Good luck to you and the family and the love the nation has for you will only expand - proud of you mate 🌈❤️👏

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

Since Apple brought out a new phone has everyone else's iphone gone shit ....?

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

3 years

A great way to start any day .....

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Says everything you need to know about this government

TheFarm/PeterHooton

@TheFarm_Peter

4 years

Shooting and hunting exempt from the Covid rule of six ban on gatherings

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Like many people I am saddened and shocked by the passing of Caroline Flack. My heart goes out to her family and close friends. It is tragic when a person feels this is the best solution to escape the negative feelings. Anyone in that darkness please talk to someone. RIPCaroline

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

After a lot of soul searching I am postponing my warm up gigs in Lancaster tonight and tomorrow I apologise but it does not feel right.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

6 years

Won’t it be nice if one day the future of the country is not held in the balance by a small number of people in the Conservative Party?

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Not how any of us would have planned it but thank you to those players and staff who have taken us back to the top. #YNWA

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

He just gets better every week ....

Liverpool FC

@LFC

5 years

One, two, three, four, five...SIX!! 😁

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

We will shortly have the 5th Tory Prime Minister in 6 years - at some point it becomes obvious you are just a bit shit!

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

I have loved the last few months on set and I am looking forward to working with the brilliant team in 2021. Honour to join such a legendary show .

Doctor Who

@bbcdoctorwho

4 years

Welcome to the TARDIS… ✨

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

7 years

Carlsberg don’t do mid week Champions League nights ....but if they did ....😊

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

A bit of Coldplay before @socceraid tomorrow 😎 #toughlife

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

I agreed to get involved in this project in late 2018 when the world was different place. An incredible experience that I could never have expected. What was supposed to take a few months has taken almost 2 years reach your screens on tomorrow at 9pm in @ITV but it was worth it.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Just seen aliverpools allocation for @ChampionsLeague final - 16,000 tickets. Spurs will probably get the same. That’s 32,000 true fans in a ground holding 67,000. Surely it’s not right that the two finalist get less than 50% of the tickets ...!!

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

I can't believe the scenes in America . A once great country has become the play thing of a lunatic because things like Twitter have allowed uncensored opinion to be seen as fact.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

2 years

I had the idea of learning enough sign language to do a gig to a deaf audience which lead to this documentary. It became the hardest and most personal piece of television I have ever made. I hope it can help other families facing similar challenges. Thursday at 9pm on ITV.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

8 years

@timloughton if there was ever an example of how out of touch you and your government are with ordinary people it's that tweet.

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

5 years

Totally agree with this from @Carra23 . The club does not need the scheme. It’s income is deferred not threatened, the games will be played, the TV rights and prize money paid. The club can sustain itself till then. Tax payers money needs to be used for those who need it most.

Jamie Carragher

@Carra23

5 years

Jurgen Klopp showed compassion for all at the start of this pandemic, senior players heavily involved in @premierleague players taking wage cuts. Then all that respect & goodwill is lost, poor this @LFC

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John Bishop

@JohnBishop100

4 years

Here is an idea for a wet Tuesday. Take education and the NHS - the things we all care about - out of the hands of politicians and have them run by people who know what they are doing ....I know ....just imagine someone who has worked in that field all their life making decisions

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