M @bitchydarlin Twitter profile

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Hopeful that one day someone is going to see my psychotic tweets and be like that crazy bitch is gonna be mine

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

I have a huge forehead so if you give me forehead kisses you’re gonna be up there awhile

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

Maybe scream singing Adele alone in my car is part of my healing journey OKAY

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

I’m loveable for like 3 days max

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Sorry but I’m already committed to the wrong lyrics

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Of course I set boundaries, it’s called goodbye forever have a nice life

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Let’s sit on the floor and talk about how annoying everyone is but us

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Not gonna be a dumb bitch today wish me luck

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M

@bitchydarlin

11 months

Older men always have this look like they see something in the far far distance that they’re very angry about

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

Your story has exceeded my attention span please stop

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I like saying the first thing I think and it’s never awkward at all

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Disinterested in everything is my current mental state

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

So we’re all horny and unstable huh

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Let’s do something that’s frowned upon

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I gag a little bit when I try to express emotions, it’s fine

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Do you want to make fun of each other until we die yes or no

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Feeling like a bad bitch wearing my candy corn earrings

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Life update: I’m still annoying

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

I’m not falling for that shit again -me, right before I fall for that shit again

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I get weird if you’re nice to me

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

It took 34 seconds to realize I fucked up on that follow back

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Pushing people away because I felt the slightest sense of rejection is part of my charm

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

You guys okay if I just scream real quick

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

My soulmate forgot I exist again

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Slipping on ice in your driveway is hot girl shit, right?

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Nothing is wrong, I just like saying dumb shit

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Need some aggressively hot eye contact in my life

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

I’m really trying to give a fuck, I swear

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Please stfu, I’m trying to be delightful

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Not gonna lie, my heart is kind of a dumbass

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Calling him bestie until I figure out if he likes me

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Ignoring all dms until someone offers me their soul

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Please don’t bother, you’re already dead to me

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Sorry I’m boring because my brain is tired

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

C’mere, let me gross you out with my love and affection

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Idk, make me feel important or some shit

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Wore a sundress and accidentally found myself twirling in a field of wildflowers again

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Reminding me that I’m not that special is so hot

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Posting bikini pics because you’re only hot once, right?

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I’m just tryin to be the light of your muthafuckin life yo

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Grab a banjo, we are going on an adventure

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Hi, I’m freezing

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

You can’t be sure you like me until you see me with wet hair

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Yes I am insufferable thanks for noticing

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Of course I’m worth the trouble

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

Be that special person that makes them avoid an entire app

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I sent you 15 songs pls respond

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

I think I could find the time to get on your nerves later

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M

@bitchydarlin

11 months

Sir, don’t flirt with me I’m possessed by demons

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

I be like communication is key then dive into a murky lake

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Gonna try and make new friends by jumping on their backs for a surprise piggyback ride, wish me luck

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Thanks but I’m spending the remainder of my evening pouting

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

If you’re inexplicably drawn to someone, save time and just punch yourself in the face now

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I can be insanely jealous but I’ll get over it and you in about 10 minutes

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

If he ignores me more than twice he goes in the trash can

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Saying totes after everything you say to see if I can make your eye twitch

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

If you know I’m dumb then why would you get mad at me

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Please don’t try to talk to me while I’m busy being embarrassed of my entire existence

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

The universe wants you to stop getting on my nerves

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

Pretend I’m not gross and disgusting and love me already

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Sorry I spent 10 years searching for the right gif

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I’m talkative for like 2 days a month and that’s about it

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

We have a similar vibe and that’s crazy bitch so let’s be friends

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Let’s skip today

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Me when someone asks me any question ever

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Pretty sure I died of embarrassment and I’m just here haunting you now

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M

@bitchydarlin

1 year

Pinky promise you’ll still love me after I key your car

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M

@bitchydarlin

4 years

Your bra size in your bio? I bet you’re so interesting

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M

@bitchydarlin

1 year

Me when I tweet something stupid

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Thanks for the pretty words but I’m actually looking to get railed

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I cringe at my own tweets so yeah I feel your pain

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Meet me under the moonlight and hurl me into the ocean

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

But if I didn’t ghost you then you wouldn’t have met your 47th soulmate so you’re welcome

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Thanks for not interrupting my self sabotaging ways

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Every time a Twitter romance dies there are at least 15 people waiting for the subtweets

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Still trying to pretend I don’t exist

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

If you ignore me once I’ll get back to you in 5-7 years when I’m over it

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Sir, jump in this hula hoop with me and let’s see where the night takes us

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Hoping to make new friends by replying with that shit is bananas to everything today

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

You’re not madly in love with me? LAME.

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Wanna hear me tell you 15 stories at once wait where are you going

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Mentally I’m running away screaming from this conversation but yes, please continue

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

So overwhelmed I just wanna lay on the floor and pretend I don’t exist

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

But your honor, he sent the fire emoji and said I look sweaty

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

It’s a beautiful morning don’t fuck it up

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I feel like I’m a good person until someone scream sneezes around me

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

We can be bffs if you never bring up the dumb shit I tweet

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Let’s not make any sense together

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

My favorite part about my kid pushing the shopping cart is definitely the ankle injuries

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

If you retweet me we are bffs and yes I make the rules

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Call me fuckface but like romantically

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Thanks for ignoring me, I needed a reason to eat ice cream

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

I kind of love that we’ve all decided to go feral

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

Just here to remind you how dumb my thoughts are

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

One time a guy was actually nice to me and I’m still swooning

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

I feel beautiful when I’m loved which explains why I’ve felt like a disgusting goblin for so long

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

Just shut up and look at the clouds with me

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M

@bitchydarlin

3 years

I sent you a very shitty picture of the sunrise pls respond

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M

@bitchydarlin

2 years

We can totally talk about our feelings as long as it’s song form

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