Amanda @abschmutz Twitter profile

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Amanda

4 days

One last hurdle to clear before I start work next week! I got my landlord settled down and she knows when I start so I'm good there, but I need to keep my Internet and electricity on to be able to start the job, plus some groceries. About $500 will cover it all and then I'm

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Amanda

@abschmutz

2 years

@MaryFabulous3 @Parkerlawyer Jesus Christ, mom wasn't sitting beside her literally asking Twitter for help that she could give her kid. It's thought-provoking, so she brought it here to discuss at large. I don't think daughter's future legal career can be summed up by one dinner interaction, but go off. 🙄

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Amanda

@abschmutz

26 days

@hwinkler4real Can you imagine the kind of human being you have to be to have elephants come running to see you? I want to meet him AND his elephant family! 💜

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 months

@ChefReactions So we're just going to contaminate the whole can of cocoa powder by dipping the chicken right into it? 🤢

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Amanda

@abschmutz

2 months

@WmDeanFrench I'm so sorry, it's the worst part of being owned by dogs, they're 100% guaranteed to go way too soon and break our hearts. I wouldn't have it any other way and I know you wouldn't either, but it doesn't make the pain any less right now. Be kind to yourself and take comfort with

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

This thread restores my faith in humanity, as if @FlavorFlav and @SnoopDogg at the Olympics didn't already do that. With all the crap happening in my life the past few years, I need every endorphin boost I can get!

JessSkyeTV🍌🥽🫶🏼

@Skyefullofcrows

1 month

My kid had a question about one of the Olympic sports and I didn't know.... "Can't you just like call and ask Flav?" Babes, your mom doesn't have @FlavorFlav phone number. How cool do you think I am? 🤣😭

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 months

@thanh_neville It doesn't matter that he was feral, his soul touched yours and that must be grieved properly, so allow yourself the grace and time to do it, without that inner monologue of "he was feral". So very sorry for your loss 🫂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

@bunsenbernerbmd Bernoulli is worried he's next for the shave 😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 months

@ask_aubry Would she go after a teenager working at McDonald's the same way, if he changed to buying his lunch there?? That's a lil out of control! The man's gotta eat, if you don't want him buying his lunch, make it yourself. Seems simple enough.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

16 days

@laurenbrock100 @DogginTrump @ModernHeretic_2 Lemme guess, you skipped civics class?

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 months

@EFriederman @KellyScaletta Google is a thing now. You can even speak into it, if the written word is hard for you.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 months

@pallbro They aren't willing to do a trial run? A weekend visit maybe?

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Amanda

@abschmutz

2 years

@k1llcha1n @Jthmeow @kategagutlova @NoLieWithBTC Good, he should familiarize himself with where he and his cronies just condemned women to get their abortions from now on. If it's good enough for our healthcare, it's gd well good enough for him too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

@triplej15 I can't even imagine the sucker punch of hearing "I love you" and thinking for even an instant that they might be supportive and then getting slapped with the "but..." I'm so sorry they can't love you unconditionally. I'm more than happy to be an "internet mom or sister" for

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 months

@oncecavnowtank2 How are you just realizing this? 😂😂😂 Now go find the people that think leaving vinegar in their driveway prevents the chem trails from going over their houses!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

@ChefReactions That looks like my childhood, but it was my neighbor. I traded babysitting so his wife could go grocery shopping and run errands without dragging the kids around, in exchange for him teaching me to make dishes from his Greek/Italian background. Best trade I've ever made.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 months

@ChefReactions This is just so disrespectful. You've got kids in this country who literally only eat when school is in session, but yeah, let's waste perfectly good food that could've gone to a food pantry, all for likes and views. People really have no shame.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

@thatUPSdude Bear: mama said rule 1 with stranger danger - make yourself look bigger, so I'mma stand on my back legs.... Am I bigger yet? Do I look fierce? Ugh, this is hard.... Deer: what is this fool doing? Ya got 4 legs, stand on them all! Jeez, you can't even balance good, just stop! 😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

Tempting as that might be.... Hard pass.....

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

@PoliticalHeads @RoughChopOttawa I'm very sorry for your PTSD, but if it's a community event advertising that a cop will be there, you can choose not to attend. It's not the police department's job to change their gear to make you comfortable. He was on duty, therefore in uniform, that's all you need to know.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

2020 is the gift that keeps on giving. My dad was just diagnosed with prostate cancer, so whatever positive vibes y'all have, if you could send them his way, I'd appreciate it.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Wouldn't normally ask, but I'm sitting in the ER with my dad and am scared shitless. We could use all the good vibes we can get.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

My sister in law posted this, it just never gets old 😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Missing my mama desperately right now. Cried so much, Finn gave up trying to stop the tears and just put his big ol head on top of mine.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

I love discovering I've been blocked by someone I've never interacted with. Who hurt you? 😂😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

I wish a picture could capture what I see when I look in his eyes. He is my savior, my protector, my comfort when I can do nothing but scream and cry in pain, he is a clown when I need to laugh and a stoic presence when I need to cry. He is my best friend.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 months

@EliMcCann I had an Akita that did that whenever there were loud noises - storms, fireworks, etc. 130 pounds of fearsome dog, crammed into the bathtub lol

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 months

@LeRenardeAmer @YrBittrEx @garonnevik She wasn't complaining, she was telling a story. Feel free to scroll past.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 years

Jesus take the chancla 😂😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

Sweet Jesus, someone taught the baby to tell Alexa to play Baby Shark. I'm. In. Hell. Send reinforcements. And snacks.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

7 years

Feel free to retweet and spread the word #WorldMentalHealthDay2017 #EndTheStigma #PTSD @JosephLocus @OfficerMorton @HJPolisJr @JennyMHS78

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Her killer has been arrested!!!!!! Incredible work!

Newport Beach Police

@NewportBeachPD

6 years

In July 1973, 11-year-old Linda Ann O’Keefe was murdered. In July 2018, her story touched millions of people through #LindasStory (). Today, we have a new message to share, and we are giving Linda a voice once more.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Found out today my neighbors got rid of their dog because he got "too big" for their 2 and 5 year old. 😭😭😭 The 5 year old is in love with my Finn (Finny boo, as he calls him). I'm heartbroken he no longer has a dog of his own. Don't do this to dogs or kids. 🤬

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Amanda

@abschmutz

2 years

@WisconsinJim2 @LakotaMan1 The officer on the right was communicating with his wife, who was inside, shot and dying. Video shows him trying to get to her and he was turned around by his own people. This was tragic enough, don't add to it with false narratives built on the back of this man's personal loss.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Given today's news of two LEOs shot while innocently eating lunch, I just want to say thank you to all of you who, in the face of such events, continue to put on the uniform and go to work everyday to protect me and mine.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Ladies, for the unsolicited dick pics, might I suggest the following gif as your only response? 😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Who in the hell explores a boarded up sanitarium at night?! I don't care what you think you might find to steal! 😳😳😳😳😳 #LivePD @marklaureano989 @deputybossp

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Yes, I can still see you, ya big lug!!! 😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

@QuietPartLoudly @FSchadenfreude @BadMedicalTakes None of them are going to fuck you anyway, so mark yourself safe from hairy armpits and move on. Stop telling women what to do with their bodies.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 years

@officerdaddo your wife in 30 years 😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Is that an actual payphone?! Millennials everywhere are wondering what this dude is standing in front of. #LivePD

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

@DonCulo94 @Cpl_Dont_Know

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

Neighborhood punks riding their bikes thru the golf course: can I swim in your pool? Finn, who had been down the side yard, very quietly walks into view, never barking, just there. Me: 🤷🏻‍♀️ if you can get past the pit bull Punks: 😳 oh 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

A not quite 2 year old girl shoveling flaming hot Cheetos and Funyuns into her mouth like they're Cheerios is a sight to behold. 😳😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

@DetroitStrong01 @welcomet0nature The slithering kind.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

Seriously, do not ride in the back of pick ups. A former coworker hit the back of a truck with his HONDA. One of the adults riding in the bed was ejected and died as a result. An adult. I can't imagine what would've happened to a child. Just don't do it. #LivePD #LivePDNation

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

If you allow your child to have a social media account, you don't get to complain about the stuff they might see. This is for adults, it's not up to us to police ourselves for the sake of your child. Keep your kids off social media ffs!!!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

2 years ago, I was given the best Christmas gift ever, my Finn. His speckled nose stole my heart, and the way he snuggled against my neck, sighed, and fell asleep meant he was mine forever. He gave me something to live for when I was convinced there was nothing.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

11 days

@SirJeremyLondon Remember when we thought misspelling "potato" was the dumbest thing a politician could do? Ah, the olden days 😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

My 2 year old niece helped herself to my Mtn Dew while I was changing clothes earlier. I hope her mama and daddy enjoy that buzz tonight 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

@bunsenbernerbmd The dopey grin 😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

2 years ago I got the call that changed my life. Some days, I feel that stabbing pain like it was yesterday. Others it feels like it was a decade ago, so much has happened since. I'll always wonder if I did right by her in those last few months, what I could've done different.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 months

@TammyCoy8 @PolishPanda7 @BrociousKara Wrong, if it were independent, it wouldn't rely on the woman's body to feed and care for it for 40 weeks. That's the difference between a fetus and a baby, and that's why women have the right to choose whether she wants (or can) house and feed it for those 40 weeks.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 months

@JoeyMannarinoUS @maybegabrielle It doesn't matter why, that's the whole point.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 months

@loose_parts You're not a poacher, which makes you a great person!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

1 month

@joenahnah Used to be Hellman's (or Best Foods, where I'm from) but now I'm all about Duke's. It's so much better.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

Anybody else I can piss off tonight?? It's only 11:35 here, surely someone else wants to block me for no fucking reason tonight? Or maybe be a racist twat and block me after getting called out? Any takers? 😂😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

Was sitting, lost in some not-so-pleasant thoughts earlier when Finn came over quietly, sat down, leaned against my leg and gave me the tiniest kiss on my hand, as though to say "I'm here if you need me mama." I don't deserve him 😭😭

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 years

Just killed a snake. In my living room. I'm done adulting for the day, if you need me I'll be in my blanket fort watching Disney movies.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 months

@BigEcavin @DoomScroling Anecdotal evidence to support pedophilia, lovely. And yes, centuries ago, teen marriages were common, but the life expectancy was also 30-40, so teens were also "middle aged" and there was no time or luxury to wait for their brains to mature. Doesn't make it right though.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

No matter how many times I put his bed flat on the floor, he always tips it up against the wall 🤷🏻‍♀️ something about this reminds me of the fake pouches they use to raise orphaned kangaroos in 😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

7 years

For those of you who knew @LivePDRadioMike , his services will be Monday at 1 in Oklahoma City. #LivePD #LivePDNation More info available here:

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

This made me laugh way too much 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

@adrianacancinoo @amy_polvadore @KellyJamesKey @sweeetsav Imagine not knowing the difference between wishing someone pain and wishing they be shown the same compassion they've shown. Reading comprehension is hard.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

Seriously, unless Vin Diesel is standing at my front door waiting to propose, don't bother me when I'm in the bathroom. It's called a personal bubble. Nothing you have to say can possibly be important enough to talk to me thru the door. 🙄

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

I still have the touch! Friend handed me her cranky baby to hold while she and her hubby loaded the car. Hubby didn't believe in the touch. Less than 2 minutes and she was sound asleep on my chest. He was like "great, now she's gonna be mad when I put her in her car seat!" 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

2 years

@RealDarrellRoss @TizzyEnt Respectfully, I took it more as 'how many turned a blind eye?', especially to the one bouncing between agencies. Rather than addressing the problem, a bad cop, they just allowed it to move from agency to agency, much the same way the Catholic Church shuffled bad priests around.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Blocked for suggesting that a badge bunny have more respect for the cops that she proclaims to love than to post about dating a cop vs deputy sheriff (as though she were choosing between Coke and Pepsi) on every thread involving a PD or officer. Ask if I give a fuck. 🤷‍♀️😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

When you're the biggest LivePD badge bunny on Twitter, running an entire clique of badge bunnies, but then call others out for treating Twitter like high school and complaining about cliques.... And can we stop using kids as bait, please? It's gotten old.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

75 pounds of stubborn asshole. But he's my stubborn asshole and I adore him 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

She couldn't have done anything, but I sure did need to call her and tell her I was scared. 65 was way too young, MS is a terrible disease, and I'll miss my mom for the rest of my life. Love you Mama.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 years

@TriageNurseMD @DrknSt0rmyNite I thought those were for the TP, but I like the cupholder idea better!!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Unpopular opinion: The Kardashian-Jenner "empire" was built on the backs of two murder victims - Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Nobody had heard the Kardashian name until OJ's trial. Stop calling them "self made"!!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

It's slightly ridiculous how funny I find it that I taught my niece to say "fart" and she's now running circles thru the house yelling it. I should be more mature. I am not. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

@THETimHaynes Honestly, you're just saying what a lot of us were already thinking, so stir away!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 years

@tommy_corner Looks like you're living rent free in her head, despite the block 🤣🤣🤣

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

Happy Halloween from this Pit-icorn 🦄! He also turned 3 today, so it's a big day! Time flies 😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜 @officerdaddo @MotownStrong01 @Love4PoliceDogs @LishaMosure

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Amanda

@abschmutz

3 years

@Miss_Trish911 Think of the alternative - he sits there and watches, helpless, as the last bit of life drains away from his child. And then a lifetime of wondering if he could've saved him. Yes, you gave him hope. But you also gave him mercy; he'll never have to wonder if he could've done more.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

Yes Finn, I CAN see you, even UNDER your bed. 🙄😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

Did I buy Finn an eggplant emoji toy just to watch the boys squirm when my pitbull tears it up? Yes, yes I did. Am I a child? Yes, yes I am. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Woke up this morning, couldn't lift my head. The big guy had quietly come up onto my pillow, wrapped himself around my head and had his head on top of mine and was sound asleep, snoring peacefully in my ear.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

2 months

@AmyStory3_0 Gorgeous, as always, and he can go fuck a cactus!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 months

@TammyCoy8 @PolishPanda7 @BrociousKara It's not an individual either, not until it can exist on its own. FYI: pro choice is not the same as pro abortion, I'm sorry that distinction is difficult for simpletons like you, but it's true.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 months

@mandalore1228 Looks better than what I see in my grocery store, I'd buy one from each!! And how does she even know they're illegal, there are plenty of brown citizens in NYC!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

My first attempt at chicken parm, let's hope it tastes as good as it looks!!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

7 years

Driving back to Tulsa from OKC, looks like the super moon is here! Should make for some good #LivePD !! @danabrams @TomMorrisJr1 @Sean_C_Larkin @LATalkRadioMike @JennyMH78 @OfficerMorton @StevenGMcCann @RCSD @PascoSheriff @thundacat830

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

How much more "convenient and casual" do you need than Walmart?! People literally roll up in assless chaps, no shirt, and mismatched chonclas at the Walmarts I've been to. Are they just showing up nekkid to the Dollar Palace?!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Got an email reminding us to use our wellness benefits by the end of the year, so I pull up the list to remind myself what qualifies and am reminded again why I love my company... On the list? Pet adoption fees. Reimbursed up to $200. Love it!!!

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

You'd think I'd know by now, when someone hurts me, to just bury the pain and move on, not express that they hurt me. You'd think I'd be used to being thrown away. Ignore it, bury the pain and move on. I think I may be done with Twitter. It just seems too painful.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

Somebody got a new Halloween sweater! 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

#GenX 🙋🏻‍♀️

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

OMG 😂😂😂😂 @DetroitStrong01 @thatgirlfromSC @LishaMosure @Love4PoliceDogs @DptyLone @deadthanred

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 years

That's not being a wife, that's being a mother.

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Don't drive impaired. And there's no such thing as being "just a little impaired" or "less drunk than..." because there's also no such thing as "just a little dead" or "less dead". I've buried someone who got in a car with someone he thought was less drunk than he was.

Trooper Ben

@TrooperBenKHP

6 years

What just happened... #DriveSober and stop those that might

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Amanda

@abschmutz

6 years

Just found out a family friend died today. She was a childhood friend of 2 of my cousins, so she was at almost every family gathering. Went into the hospital 11 days ago with what she thought was a migraine. It turned out to be bacterial meningitis, and it killed her today. 💔💔

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Amanda

@abschmutz

5 months

This was only ever meant to be shared with my family, and I'm beyond humiliated to share it here, but at this point, I feel like I have no choice. If you can help, I would greatly appreciate it, but if you can't, I completely understand.

Setting aside pride and asking for help, organized by Amanda Schmutz

Hi, I'm Mandy (or Amanda, I go by both), First, thank you for taking the time … Amanda Schmutz needs your support for Setting aside pride and asking for help

www.gofundme.com

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Amanda

@abschmutz

4 years

My new landlord just texted to see if she could help in anyway, go to the grocery store, walmart, etc. Um wow! She previously told me she originally bought this house for a pregnant friend who was living in a slum apartment. She didn't want her bringing her baby home to that.

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