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toby

@tobyomi

4,361
Followers
855
Following
2,205
Media
23,689
Statuses

☆pisces sun, libra moon, bimbo rising☆ they/them

naarm/melbourne
Joined August 2015
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@tobyomi
toby
7 years
nurse: kylie jenner to the delivery room i have a little surprise for u! kylie: ᶦˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃ ᶜʰᶦᶜᵏᵉᶰ﹖﹖ nurse: no
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
are u scared all your friends secretly hate u due to years of passive aggressive school friendships where everyone ACTUALLY hated u but u couldn’t tell and now u are paranoid or are u normal
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
me, drinking normal water: ok me, drinking water with a slice of lemon in it:
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
can't drive gay: leo, capricorn, virgo, cancer can't maths gay: pisces, aries, aquarius, libra can't sit gay: taurus, scorpio, sagittarius, gemini
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
german snakes be like: ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
adulthood PROS: -freedom -u can buy whatever u want -alcohol CONS: -being alive is expensive -u are still afraid of large groups of teenagers
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
who has the most powerful lyrics? 0% lorde 0% lady gaga 0% madonna 100% harry potter puppet pals and the mysterious ticking noise 974,968,523 votes • final results
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@tobyomi
toby
7 months
turning 25 and my frontal lobe is finally fully developed
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
reminder that pornhub: -helps raise breast cancer awareness -has international womens day campaigns -puts snow plows on roads during blizzards -helped plant 15,000 trees -donates to panda charities -has scholarships for women in need of college fee assistance -saves bees
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
people who like astrology: i like astrology what people who hate astrology hear: i have no free will. i only answer to the crab stars in the sky for wisdom. i detest modern science only burning sage can heal my UTI.
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
stages of homosexual progress 1. i'm not gay 2. ok im gay but im not like other gays 3. other gays are actually really cool and we have a lot in common 4. i have no personality whatsoever im too similar to every gay and all we ever say to each other is 'oh wow tea'
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
society now that jojo siwa has come out
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@tobyomi
toby
5 months
random girl at the rave walking up to me, leaning on me and telling me she ‘doesn’t like my vibe’
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
me, an australian: im dying please call an ambulance rest of the world: lmao😂 your accent😂 can't understand u me: im bleeding out- rest of the world: cRiKey m8 PuT a sHriMP oN thE BarbIE😂😂 was that a good accent? lol
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
the truth is at the bottom of this ladder: ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ queer people can identify with the term 'gay' even though they may not be exclusively homosexual
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
u: nick robinson is the guy from love, simon me, an intellectual: douchey but highkey soft older brother from jurassic world know your history, kids
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@tobyomi
toby
4 months
there is no way
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
troye and charli xcx: 🤘i just wanna go back, back to 1999🤘 1999 troye: was 3 years old 1999 charli: was in pre-school
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
kesha: sang about sexual, emotional and physical abuse lorde: wrote 'melodrama' when she was 19 and turned a broken heart into art lady gaga: dedicated 'joanne' to her aunt to continue her creative legacy ed: sheeran
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
hair dye packet: im light blonde me: cool hair dye packet: hair dye packet: *strawberry blonde lowkey living for this fruity goodness
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
i really don’t care who unfollows me for speaking my truth but i wanna be railed in a hello kitty love hotel room so bad fr
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
i beg u please do not support melanie martinez's upcoming album. don't put money into a r*pists bank account. it's a reflection of your own morals if u continue to disregard her actions. stan or not, think carefully.
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
pride month is nearly over and i still haven't gotten a big ass kiss on the lips can we make july 'pride month 2.0' so i can try again thank u
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
only intellectuals will get this
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
fuck u if you're gay but still discriminate and invalidate other parts of the lgbt+ community how could u face oppression yourself and choose to project it on others get away from me
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
had it with f words for today
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
me: im gay white girl wearing black converse: yaaas i've always wanted a gay best friend me:
@HOLLAND_vvv
HOLLAND
7 years
I'm not gay
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
@troyesivan give gasoline the respect she deserves please she ran so that bloom could walk
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
"love, simon isn't needed! there's already acceptance!" -in countries like the USA and Australia, 1 in 3 people do not support homosexuality -rates of homophobic hate crimes has increased -LGBT+ youth are 3x more likely to suffer from mental illness this movie is important.
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
LGBT+ people are expected to live in a world of heteronormativity and cisnormativity with no questions asked, but when someone says 'im gay lol' straight people act like they're being marginalised? suck it up muggle
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@tobyomi
toby
5 years
lorde is in an indefinite hiatus right now, probably picking wild mushrooms in the remote new zealand rainforest and singing to tree spirits and she's still a more influential artist than kanye
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
"u changed" bro queer people often find a new sense of self after leaving school as they have more room for expressive freedom and sense of community, rather than suppressing it in order to survive
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
u are BORN gay. u are BORN straight. but u AREN'T born as someone who DOESN'T say thanks to the bus driver be polite u garden gnome
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
acne culture is trying every product on earth from toothpaste to lemon juice to the tears of aphrodite and someone still says "maybe u should try washing your face"
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
fuck the police we don't need them anymore we have shawn mendes and his muscle arms to protect us instead
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
leaking my own scandalous pics p.s. if i look sleep deprived here u are 100% correct
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
LEAKED NEWS: Ariana and Troye's upcoming song 'Dance to This' can ONLY be heard by gays! Everyone else will hear nothing. "It's a gays only bop", Troye said.
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
"evidence" that vaccines cause autism were LITERALLY fabricated by a conman who got his doctor's licence stripped from him when he did ILLEGAL TESTS ON AUTISTIC CHILDREN and MADE THIS UP to profit over the public health scare post: mythbusted
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
bottoms
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
me: *stops talking to someone toxic because they don't respect or value me* me: ok but... that was so mean of me imagine how they feel :(
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
“you’ve changed” yes i’m hotter and stupider and non binary now
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
gay hands™
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
'manly' drinks -beer -taste like hotdog water -no alcohol concentration -for weak bitches 'girly' drinks -look pretty as heck -have like 4 shots in them -taste like fruit juice -stan and support her
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
im starting a gofundme to replace every man on the planet with tom holland we'd have less toxic masculinity and a 100% increase in more kind men we'd all be winners
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
ranking of dumb bitches 14. intelligence 13. is 12. subjective 11. everyone 10. is 9. smart 8. at 7. something 6. we 5. shouldn't 4. drag 3. others 2. down 1. me
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
straight women fetishising gay men & straight men fetishising lesbians are both bad but can't be compared! lesbians are seen as a challenge for straight men to convert, while gay men are seen as sexually twisted objects! both are homophobic but neither face the same issues!
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
the gays really begged charli for new music and she looked at us and said 'this one's for all u funky lil homosexuals' and gave us this...iconic
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
oh no...i am collapsing... my legs are weak... i can’t breathe... i think the only thing that could save me rn is a kiss on the forehead... i’m in critical condition please. hurry
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
australia day marks a celebration of a history of colonialism, white supremacist policies and genocide. you can say 'it's all in the past', but then when anzac day comes round, apparently history suddenly matters.
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
me during sex: hurt me him: stop using astrology and zodiac signs as an excuse for your emotional flaws me: no stop- him: you're just deflecting from the fact that u have no control over your own life when u blame your imperfections on when u were born
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@tobyomi
toby
3 years
saying ‘go piss girl’ when ur friend says they need to pee >>>>> therapy
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@tobyomi
toby
3 years
looking breedable and submissive on smith st
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@tobyomi
toby
2 years
northside naarm queers are like “i’m a dj/queer creative/producer/podcast host” girl we need DOCTORS😭🙏
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
unpopular opinion: hearing anyone who's not from australia try to do an australian accent is a form of vicious torture please have mercy on me
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
"hey u seem really cool we should DM more!" "yes haha" "how are u?" "good" "how has your day been" "haha"
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
professor: please don't do this 2000 word essay the night it's due me: is that a dare
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
the rumours are true im a WHORE W- who wanna H- hold hands O- or R- reciprocate my E- emotions?
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
💞🌟🦋manifesting🌟🧚🏻‍♂️🦋 cute picnic dates where we talk for hours while drinking cheap wine and make out under the sun😔😔😔
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
Breaking News! 'Animal' by Troye Sivan is reportedly turning everyone into bottoms. "It was my intention all along," Troye laughed. "Tops are cancelled!". Bottoms everywhere are saying they're stronger than ever before.
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@tobyomi
toby
3 years
if u attract what u fear then omg noooooo queer house parties💔💔💔
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
@lgbtop imagine saying street like STRABE
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
straight boy: i'm straight my friends: he's straight the universe: he's straight me: but what about that time he said 'hi' to me and maintained eye contact for a second longer than is heterosexually expected? and in 2014 he had a blonde box dye phase? coincidence? i think not
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
yeah im a SLUT Someone hold my hands with me L U Thank u
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
god: no tea no shade☕ but don't eat that fruit hunty😂🙅‍♂️ eve: wig omg too late😎👊 adam: hashtag exposed shister!👮‍♀️ god: this tea🤠
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
my my my: capricorn, scorpio, leo, aquarius the good side: sagittarius, libra, virgo, aries for him: pisces, cancer, taurus 2012 song: gemini
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
where is 'ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛʀʏ ʙᴏʏʏ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴏᴜᴜᴜ ᴜᴜGHh' girl now? has she found her cowboy man? will we ever know who he was? these are the important questions people
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
gay culture is being a quiet background character during school, but the moment u graduate u get piercings, wear expressive clothing and don't hate yourself as much
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
rumour has it if u write 'you're a little much for me' on your bathroom mirror in red lipstick and chant 'I'M A LIABILITY' at 3.33am, lorde will appear behind u with a homemade quiche
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
Y'ALL THERE'S A NEW REALITY DATING SHOW COMING OUT. AND GUESS WHAT. EVERYONE IS BISEXUAL. IT'S CALLED 'THE BI LIFE'. PLEASE SUPPORT IT TO SUPPORT SEXUAL DIVERSITY. twentygayteen is treating us well amen
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@tobyomi
toby
5 years
when bitches say 'just play a song u like on the aux'... firstly i have awful music taste and a deep rooted need to always please others
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
gayer than the sun #LGBTbabes
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
let bisexuals call themselves gay. let the gays call themselves queer. let people identify with whatever makes them feel most comfortable. it's not hard. it doesn't take a phD to understand basic common decency.
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
me: i wanna move out :( also me: *can't cook, can't do taxes, is broke, hates any kind of physical effort with a burning passion*
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@tobyomi
toby
4 months
sexiest man ever matching with me on hinge simply to tell me he has a green iguana that’s also named toby and then unmatched???😭😭
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
~my guide to taking selfies~ -look confused and tired all the time -turn your head to the right and ONLY the right -gravity-defying hair
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@tobyomi
toby
4 years
click HERE for THEYS ready to FUCK you!!! better than craigslist!! no signups!!! only 361 miles away
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
10 children are dead, kaitlin. they never came home to their families after a normal day at school because people like you demand the right to carry killing machines. grow some lips and a sense of empathy good fucking god.
@KaitMarieox
Kaitlin Bennett
6 years
Not only have I received a job offer tonight, but several young men have offered their hands in marriage to me. I'm sorry I have to decline. I have a boyfriend.
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@tobyomi
toby
5 years
transphobes try to say trans identites were a quirky thing invented by snowflake millennials as if it wasn't a common idea among indigenous cultures across the world before colonialism vilified trans-ness and buried it under centuries of cultural erasure
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@tobyomi
toby
5 years
americans making these memes about being drafted & bombed is so tone deaf it's embarrassing. iranian civilians have been bombed by the US for over a decade. u live in the most heavily armed country in the world. shifting the focus onto yourselves while genocide is happening is 😕
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
pride month is over...but u haven't heard the last from the gays...we shall hibernate...gather our numbers.. and attack at dawn next june 1st
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
reminder that freddie mercury wrote bohemian rhapsody about coming out and getting dick so in conclusion if u have ever heard it before you're now gay full stop.
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
the only person worse at acting than laura lee in her apology video was me when i was pretending to be heterosexual
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
simon's friends were assholes PERIOD. even when he was outed, his friends weren't supportive they thought it was all about THEM. even when simon came out to abby in his car she was like 'haha...ok' full stop send tweet
@maxoffs
caroline ✿ ♡
6 years
do y’all think simon was a shitty person for lying to his friends in order not to be outed ? like for yes, rt for no trying to prove a point
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
psa! having sex is illegal for the next 3 months! we can't afford to have any more libra, scorpio or sagittarius children i'm sorry but it be like that sometimes
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@tobyomi
toby
6 years
pads/tampons need to be free!!! but 1. free condoms are a result of (esp. lgbt) people campaigning for it during the AIDS crisis. condoms arent free just to spite people with vaginas. it was a means of NECESSITY & SURVIVAL 2. not all boys have dicks 3. not all girls have vaginas
@volkswagin
𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑘𝑆𝑊𝐴𝐺𝑖𝑛 ✨
6 years
if boys can get free condoms, girls can get free pads/tampons.
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
why we should delete clean versions of explicit songs 2k18: 1. they disappoint everyone 2. u can't say children must be protected bc your son can probably rap 'deepthroat' by cupcakke 3. an overall mess dot com
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
beauty guru: this is my affordable drugstore look it's super easy and cheap💖 beauty guru: anyways let's start with a fucking 24K gold flake primer sourced from the tears of aphrodite herself it costs more than me
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@tobyomi
toby
7 years
dear logan paul stans that still support him, he edited the video. he could've deleted it. instead, he kept that footage and inflicted damage onto the mental health of his young audience. this is unacceptable and any support for him will not be tolerated.
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@tobyomi
toby
3 years
rupaul telling AFAB queens that they’re so brave for breaking boundaries as if he wasn’t the one who put those boundaries there in the first place wth😭😭😭
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