a few years ago, it fell to me to tell some family members that someone very close to them had died.
one of my best friends is a doctor, and he gave me some really good advice about how to do that conversation. which I pass on now, for anyone who needs to give bad news.
we're doing this for the first time since the pandemic! I'm looking for a new trainee writer for Zombies, Run! We'll teach you how to plot, how to write and how to design stories for games. And we pay.
Do share this and the link below:
something that I think about sometimes which I think would be hard to convey to someone even ten years younger than me is: how much we really didn't talk about before the internet existed. how many experiences were intensely private, unsayable until sayable in this way.
yesterday in a cab in NYC I managed to explain Brexit to my cab driver in the following way:
imagine that we live in a neighbourhood with a neighbourhood association. the NA provide some great shared amenities: a pool, a grocery store with cheap prices...
7) if you have a number of these phonecalls to make, my advice is that it's very useful to have someone who cares about you and who didn't know the person at all (ie is not bereaved etc themselves) who you can phone in between each one to tell you you're doing a good job
@Glinner
Sidney Greenbaum, an academic who offered "private tuition' to kids. So I feel qualified to say: what's described in this tweet is not grooming. And giving it that name makes it harder for children targeted by paedophiles to name what's happened to them. 2/2
to make sure that this gets added to the thread:
@MASieghart
points out that if there's more than one person you could possibly be calling about, the message should be: "I have sad news about x". to stop the mind racing and guessing.
1) if you have to leave a message, say "Hi <x> it's Naomi, I'm calling with some very sad news. Could you call me back on <number>." Don't break the news by a voice message, but also allow them to know that this won't be an easy conversation or a casual one.
4) after you say "<x died>" or "whatever the bad news is", stop. do not say anything else.
if you have more information to give let them ask for it. respond to what they say next, or remain in complete silence if they are silent. if they start to cry, just say "I'm here".
@Glinner
(teachers should be able to give safe space to kids to talk about topics that might not be welcome in their family homes. that's good teaching. we need to be able to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour by teachers. it's vital for children's safety.)
I'm looking for a new writer to come and work with us on Zombies, Run! Are you this person? Do you know this person? Does... someone on your Twitter know this person? Please RT :-D
@Glinner
Hello. We haven't met but I've enjoyed your writing a huge amount over the years, Black Books still makes me laugh in an almost life-endangering way. I'm also a writer, known for my best-selling feminist novel, The Power. Very sadly, as a child I was groomed by a paedophile. 1/2
2) at the start of the conversation, say "I've got some really sad news I'm afraid." In their minds they are already working out what it is. They do not really hear the next few lines, or only halfway.
3) so the next few lines are the story. tell it chronologically and in spare details. "your sister was admitted to hospital last night. she was very ill with a high fever. the doctors gave her antibiotics but nothing worked. at 9am today she died."
5) it is OK for this phonecall to be brief. tell them how to get in touch with you (if they don't already know). if you're not the person *there*, you're probably not the person they want a long chat with at that moment.
6) let them know what will happen next, if you know. answer all the questions they have, if you know the answers. if there are questions you don't know the answer to, it's a useful thing to say that you'll find out.
in case you ever wonder whether people just totally make up endorsement quotes on their websites, the answer is yes, yes they do. I've never heard of this bloke, much less his Selbstpotenzial book
From Women's Prize-winning, bestselling author of The Power
@NaomiAllthenews
comes a white-knuckle tour de force and dazzling exploration of the world we have made and where we are going. Pre-order SIGNED Edition here:
this week, as I was in an airport going to a family funeral (and feeling not great with what's subsequently tested positive for Covid) a man spontaneously told me I looked "disagreeable".
"Me?" I said.
"You're not smiling," he said.
"Women are allowed not to smile," I said.
so people older than me think of people younger than me as somehow self-obsessed or weirdly fascinated by their identity, by the minute experiences that make up a life. but these are the things that are brand new with this new technology. they are the places of exploration.
because this is somehow a question in feminism today: if trans women want to come over here and deal with *this fucking bullshit*, I will go and get some extra chairs and put the kettle on. we need all the engaged, active women we can get. yours, A Feminist.
in this time of international crisis in which a lot more people than normal will be filling up their larders and cupboards with extra bags of rice, pulses, grains and flour I want to talk about a hidden shame, whose disgrace can make it hard to discuss: pantry moth
it's a funny year. I've been working on the TV show of The Power and on my new novel The Future concurrently for basically *six years* now. and they both come out this year.
like knowing someone's about to knock a window into my brain so everyone can see what's in there.
unsayable until one could say them anonymously, or to strangers, or at a great remove but with complete immediacy. my big example is ASMR, which is now a cliche of the weird experiential internet. I had had the strange tingle all my life, but never mentioned it to anyone.
in conclusion, women throughout history have not been kidding when they said that caring for a home is an actual job with its own expertise and demands. stay safe out there.
the internet of 15-25 years ago was a place where a bunch of things became suddenly sayable. someone mentioned them in an anonymous board, or some strange interest group arose which turned out to be centred around like... rustling newspaper videos. non-geographic interests.
I was in my 20s, sitting in an office while my colleague spoke to me in their particular foreign accent about calm, unimportant things feeling this tingle rolling around my body... and there were no words for that. no place in conversation for it.
things you had in common - interests, experiences, worries, ambitions - you might never before have physically been in a place with others who shared them, there might never have been a magazine for something that odd. but on the infinite internet, there was space.
seeking for companionship of the mind that had been very general - perhaps if I like Doctor Who and I go to a place where people like Doctor Who, we might have other things in common - became incredibly specific in a way that is irreversible.
there is a romance to letter-writing, the pen, the ink, the smooth paper (I like all those things) but actually so many letters were so non-intimate. you just said the accepted things in the normal way. descriptions of views, little anecdotes. not this probing of the self.
this is free for anyone who wants it. please do pass on to anyone stuck at home who'd like to get some exercise in a confined space. we have lots of ideas coming up and we're going to ring the changes so you don't get bored with the same routine. also in future: zombies.
Completely free for all, Zombies, Run! The Home Front begins today! These workouts are designed for anyone to complete at home, and contain no spoilers. With nine more episodes on their way soon, jump in now by tapping "Missions" in the Zombies, Run! app.
UK people: vax for under 50s has been pushed back but if your BMI is over 40 you are eligible RIGHT NOW.
NHS doesn't keep thorough BMI records and many people who are eligible for BMI have not been contacted. call your GP. it's not being pushy, it's being a responsible citizen.
THE FUTURE, my first book in *cough* seven years is out in November. you can pre-order it today from Barnes & Noble online for 25% off!
Use code PREORDER25 at checkout:
#BNPreorder25
always a delight to get notes back from my US copyeditor. first of all, they are so thorough it's like the new novel has had an intense massage. secondly, the queries on Britishisms are always very entertaining. today, we are wondering about "wank bank".
We blind-read all writing samples before we look at your CV or anything else. We're not interested in where you went to university or what your other credits are. All we want is to find people who have raw writing talent and we'll help you grow it.
most of us in the house don't care so much abt any ideology, pro or anti Neighbourhood Association. we just want to be able to go to the store & get the cheap good-quality crackers like we always could. but none of our leaders seem willing to make compromises to make that happen.
(obviously it's not a question of "want to" for many people but "are" or "must". but still. I don't really care how any woman got here, if you are angry about The Bullshit we're on the same team.)
some of our previous trainees - after working on the game - have now gone on to fulltime jobs as narrative leads in the games industry.
We're interested in your writing above all. The link above has details of how to apply. The *most important thing* is your writing sample.
it's about tech billionaires with their survival bunkers and cavalier attitude toward eg the world ending... and how a group of people who live and work with them (someone's child, someone's assistant, someone's wife) decide that they're going to have to stop them
THE FUTURE, my first book in *cough* seven years is out in November. you can pre-order it today from Barnes & Noble online for 25% off!
Use code PREORDER25 at checkout:
#BNPreorder25
1) I congratulate myself for not replying "eff off"
2) this doesn't ever happen to men, does it?
3) it's made me think about how I basically always do smile. Because it makes my life easier. Because I'm a larger person and so get random street hate anyway.
ah I love the perfection of these things. the book Ecclesiastes, a very deep and powerful work, is called Kohelet in Hebrew. which is a female word. implying that the author was female.
centuries of scholars "struggle to explain why a man was given a feminine name":
@MichaelRosenYes
this has made me cry. there's not much else to do.
pieces and moments and slivers and echoes of the people we loved are out there in the minds of everyone who ever knew them. I find it good to think that there will always be photos we never get to see.
a question for trans followers: if a character is trans, but this isn't the subject of the story (eg it's *cough* an exciting SF thriller), how do you like it to be indicated in the prose that the character is trans?
that is emotional labour. the thing we expect from greeters in supermarkets and employees at Disneyworld. to appear to be open, agreeable, welcoming to all offers, all of the time. that is what we expect from women in public spaces, enforced at random by spot-checks.
as I see a bunch of people mentioning this: this opportunity is NOT UK-EXCLUSIVE. you need to be able to take some time off for me to bring you to the UK. read the whole thing before ruling yourself out 😂
last push! it's a rainy Sunday in a lot of places, great day to sit indoors and apply to be a trainee writer on my game Zombies, Run!
applications close 7pm UK time tomorrow, Monday 7th.
we're doing this for the first time since the pandemic! I'm looking for a new trainee writer for Zombies, Run! We'll teach you how to plot, how to write and how to design stories for games. And we pay.
Do share this and the link below: