Mary @MaryJackalope Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@DORIRU_

@OleMissWBB

@yontth

@kenoba_d

@NirbhayKum8352

@IsaacStout

@RayLuCode

@Mira_Ducky

@gingerjoygames

@Superstar_Munda

@5Enrights

@Akashivarma02

@liliantintori

@XxXDemonKingXxX

@Sotze

@himekochan86

@CharleyMa

@bokeplokalmalam

@Narendr8209

@DaveAtherton20

@DrAseemMalhotra

@HOTtamaleTRAIN

@bokeplokalmalam

@HSJSexy

@larimanoela

@ls_fenner

@souimpavid

@QueenKaeee_

@costplusdrugs

@WeAreFairCop

@13_27_00

@tesssummers98

@dwdwdwdw124160

@SMNYCT

@robert40269940

@sharkdao

Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 month

I have a theory that people have simply forgotten why “old fashioned” things like undershirts, and (not in the winter) hats, gloves and scarves are actually USEFUL. It seems so strange that the whimsy of the trends could overcome the practicality

Bahar Ostadan

@BaharOstadan

2 months

good luck today boys

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

Paint me like one of your Warhammer miniatures

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 months

“Wallah” instead of “voilà” is my favorite malapropism. It kills me every time Whisk it a few times and REALLY, I SWEAR TO GOD

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

In a bar in a film from 1937. What does the sign mean?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

Husband keeps asking “should I get this keyboard?” And showing me increasingly strange keyboards, some probably AI generated. I keep saying “yes, seems ergonomic, you’ll be even more powerful” to affirm his masculinity

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 month

There’s a story that sales of undershirts dropped drastically when Clark Gable was filmed without one in It Happened One Night. Like there was truly a memetic overhaul based on a silver screen sighting? And now guys have spent nearly a hundred years sweating through shirts?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

As soon as the power went out my boyfriend started quoting Marcus Aurelius

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 months

I’m not well-educated in the visual arts but my main impression is that I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s Different. I’ve been thinking about it all day

The Royal Family

@RoyalFamily

4 months

🎨Today, The King unveiled a new portrait by @RealJonathanYeo at Buckingham Palace. The painting - commissioned by The Draper’s Company - is the first official portrait to be completed since His Majesty’s Coronation. It will hang in Draper’s Hall in London.

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

Please do NOT use <i> italics </i> unless you are ITALIAN

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 month

There must be more to it and I think people have deboonked the Clark Gable story. But I really can’t wear a head scarf out to protect my hair when it’s windy without looking like Little Edie?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

@_cingraham I’m really not prepared for my future children to say this kind of thing to me because I know I’ll get spooked. It’s truly the one thing I imagine I could handle poorly as a mother. Apparently my husband used to “live in the walls” before he was born so

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 months

What

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

So funny how "consultants" just do cute lil' college projects until retirement. Getting paid minimum $140,000 a year for brilliant insights such as "By treating homelessness as three distinct challenges, instead of one monolithic issue, solutions and resources can be rethought

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 months

This man wanting a paternity test is the equivalent of that woman with the go bag. Fairly neurotic, basic gender psychology intensified by podcasts, alienating to partners. The major difference is that there’s far less understanding of male neuroticism

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 months

This is worse than what they did to the royal family

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

10 months

Overheard a first date where the guy was explaining that the great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight, and the girl said “I know, I…”

Rona Wang

@ronawang

11 months

overheard a first date where the guy was explaining some paper to the girl & the girl said “i know, i co-authored that” oh i—

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

@Phreekedelic Oh very interesting, that must be it

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

12 days

3 months in: raising a baby is one of the easiest things ive ever done or even thought about doing

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 months

So much of this brand of “wellness” is about getting vitamins and minerals without food, feeling “healthy” and “energetic” on an insane calorie deficit

kida

@kidasnow

6 months

my daily ginger shots and vitamins aren’t enough i must reach this level of wellness insanity

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

10 months

AGI has been achieved internally

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

Defund NPR

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

She really is starting to look younger. Someone once said that as soon as people are able to see the effects of age reversal therapies, that’s when the public interest will hit an inflection point.

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

This kind of joke is such a good filter. The reactions show who is smart+funny+kind vs who is lacking in one or more of those traits. It’s okay if some people don’t get it because it’s a weird style of humor but people who see what’s going on but don’t think it’s a joke

Jason Hise

@JasonHise64

1 year

Shower thought: The standard for healthy human body temperature (98.6°) is *suspiciously* close to the boiling point of water (100°). Did life optimize for body fluid that was as energetic as possible to catalyze reactions as quickly as possible without turning into vapor?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 years

I think women should be free to express themselves sexually without being "slut-shamed," but I also think normalizing promiscuity has been detrimental for women because it disincentivizes male investment and breaks the norm of monogamous relationships. Not sure how to resolve

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

I'm going to get so hot

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

2 months

omg someone posted on Nextdoor that this "sweet, scared little guy" is loose in my neighborhood. Can't take baby for a walk now

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 months

I don’t know anyone in their 20s or 30s who has an iPad. They seem to be for children and grandparents.

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 months

What have you built recently?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 months

My favorite silly thing about Sci Fi is when Earth gets a different name for no reason. “Urth” feels like a natural phonological change, but “Old Terra” is like if United States English started arbitrarily referring to England as “Ol’ Anglia.” There has to have been a break in

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

Taller women are smarter, the fact that the trait is “polygenic” doesn’t suggest mother’s height doesn’t matter (see Tanner method), maternal stature influences birth weight, taller mothers have lower risk of preterm birth. But okay cool weird sex stuff for smol girls

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

@hello__caitlin When they said Franz Ferdinand moment at first I thought they meant, like, musically

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

“Do you want to watch a video of a man being attacked by a lion?” “Certainly not” “He’s a journalist” “Oh, then absolutely”

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

8 months

I stopped reading this when I saw “permit fee to own a car.” In the US, vehicle registration costs $50-200. In Singapore, one must bid for a certificate that costs $106,000??

Ian Griffiths

@icgee

8 months

Singapore is a transit mecca. As someone coming from the US, it challenges a lot of the assumptions we often hear about how transit “should” work. A few observations…🧵

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

11 months

This whole time I guess I just assumed that the “die” in “dieworkwear” was the German nominative feminine article “the”?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

@VinceClassic If your family is dying, you can’t buy candles here

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

How it started / how it's going

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

Men will literally spend so much time building dynasties in CK3 instead of starting a dynasty with me

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 months

@nikolasboole Very interesting

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

Je suis en retard

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

8 months

Ultrasound technician was confused as to why husband and I high-fived when she said “it’s time to measure her skull”

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

Dudes used to smoke a cigarette after sex but these days they just hop over to the terminal and start vigorously typing

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

@paulswhtn Why are so many people confused about the structure of the music industry

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

Wish I'd thought if that when the Henry Cavill thing was going around

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

We don't have herd immunity yet, but we've definitely got some herd mentality

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 months

What

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

My culture is NOT your costume

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 months

If this tweet gets 50 likes @turrible_tao and my little blonde normie sister will start a podcast about dating

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

Squat Alexander

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

He’s trying to “make her self-aware”

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

Joe-king — e/adgbe

@joe_r_Odonnell

4 years

Dear women, what is preventing you from looking like this?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

Went to KBBBQ for the first time. Didn’t understand what the grill was for, thought it was like sushi. Have been eating raw meat for the past 2 hours, it was finally explained to me but still no complaints

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

@CyrusOfHearts That automatically delivers jewelry to me

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

That epic moment when you have had a bf for two years

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

6 months

She admits in the replies that she started by calling her own job silly and he’s just responding to that, and she has “bad dates” in bio. It’s sad to see women making fun of men for engagement bait rather than opening their hearts to finding love

Sara Schonfeld

@SaraSchon

6 months

should I tell him? could be fun

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

Rachel Dolezal should start a podcast called "Rachelly Motivated"

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 years

Saying "I can squat two plates, and I have two cats," is unnecessary and nonsensical. Yelling "Dos platos, dos gatos," is a catchphrase and evokes a lifestyle.

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

10 months

What are some cute Proto-Indo-European baby names ?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

6 months

@classicallyabby Of course femininity can include combinations of yin and yang traits and features, but that being said it’s still funny to see Audrey used as an example of classic femininity when she’s such a gamine. She’s often describes as having a boyish charm, tomboyish, even androgynous.

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 month

Psychology is fake and gay until it’s a doodle that gives me an excuse to be misogynistic

Josey

@JoseySnails

1 month

@verymoisturized @MattWalshBlog How women think summed up.

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

2 years

The happiness that results from lifting is fake. I want the kind of happiness that comes from having a FAANG job and a baby

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

But when the world needed him most...he vanished

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

2 years

Elon won’t see your jokes about his body, but your mutuals who have the same body type will

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

@UXHenry @_cingraham I hope I never find out

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

I don't personally like Taylor Swift but I'd rather live in a culture where everyone else likes Taylor Swift and I don't rather than the, uh, alternative. She's wholesome and "smart." Just makes sense for baseline culture.

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

“I don’t get why it’s funny” is really different to “I don’t think it’s a joke, because I am smart and everyone else is painfully dumb.”

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

2 years

Being super into Tolkien is like getting really good at Guitar Hero instead of learning to play guitar. It’s fun and cool in its own right but instead of learning all that fantastical stuff you could learn real world geography, history, and languages

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 years

"Why do you look extra cute to me today? Oh, it's because I'm ovulating." "That study did not survive the replication crisis." "Listen, I said I'm ovulating! I'm having a reproducibility crisis!"

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

Wow, that girl tweeted "f*ck Elon Musk" and got a reply from him, whereas I constantly tweet "I would fuck Elon Musk" and get NOTHING

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

2 months

When baby looked up + made eye contact + smiled and then, for the first time ever, cooed at me the other day. No words to describe the profound beauty

♡s♡

@sun_girlxo

5 months

I am begging parents — especially new parents, and especially mothers — to post their positive experiences with parenthood. Please!! You have no idea how depressing the mainstream parenting stories currently are!!

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

PMC mfs really learn the word "monolith" on some list handed to them by their tutor when they're studying for the SATs then decided to use it as often as possible the rest of their lives

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

11 months

Wow, unfollowing now. Was totally fine with the possibility of AI posing an existential risk to humanity, but had no idea Sam Altman is a Redditor

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

Travis County decided not to pay McKinsey to tell them ThE UnHoUsEd are not a MoNoLiTH

Travis County not participating in review of homeless services due to concerns about consultant

KVUE is learning more about why Travis County will not take part in a third-party review of homeless services.

www.kvue.com

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

Hey baby, were you leaked from a lab? Because that smile is infectious

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

10 months

@savvyRL @PiotrPadlewski You should feel at least a bit embarrassed when tweeting like this. This kind of rhetoric makes it harder, not easier, to be a woman in male-dominated spaces

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

It’s messed up that the actor who plays Caligula has abs in this Netflix series about Rome. Very little historical evidence that Romans had abs, since all we have left is skeletons (no abs)

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

2 years

Sitting at the “making friends table” but no one else has joined me yet 😭

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

Your friend is feeling down. What do you say to help? A. Leonard Cohen lyrics B. There’s a Slate Star Codex post about this C. Marcus Aurelius quote D. Improv a Deep Thought on the spot but you have to include the word “hormesis”

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

9 months

I’ve noticed a pattern where people who’ve always had their needs met just expect everything and want everyone to go above and beyond for them, and people who’ve been neglected are hypersensitive to the needs of others and develop deep empathy and go above and beyond for friends

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

8 months

@goblinodds A second brain, but also a left brain to my right brain, but also a right brain to my left brain, but also sometimes a rubber duck

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

6 months

@paularambles What is this Bay Area Canadian accent

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

6 months

I never felt like I had representation before so it honestly feels great to have the same body type as Sydney Sweeney

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 months

Folks, let me tell you, I've seen a lot of babies, the best babies, believe me. But my daughter, she's something else. Everyone's saying it, she’s the most beautiful, the most aware baby. People are amazed, they can't believe it. She's already making waves, just tremendous

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

6 months

For every like this tweet gets, I’ll make this guys eyebrows bigger

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 month

*trying to hold the party line while bursting into tears reading Hillbilly Elegy* man, this guy’s w-w-weird

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

22 days

Basically if you’re in your twenties you should just be glamorizing and romanticizing everything in a much more rose-tinted light. You’re not poor, you’re a starving artist. You’re not unlovable, you’re a true romantic on a quest to find The One. It’s only bad if you think it is

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

I haven’t been poasting much lately but we still got another kind of engagement

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

6 months

@chrissyfarr Here’s a link to the risk assessment tool:

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

5 months

Have I ever told you I independently came up with Dark Forest Theory?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

7 months

@JohnSigmon You just made that word up

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@MaryJackalope

1 year

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 years

Everyone is saying "stimmy" and "vaccy" like these hard times have turned us into a bunch of Australians

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

4 years

There's a strong desire in the culture now for weirdos and freaks to be whitewashed. People want punk rock aesthetic without the ethos. They want strange, eccentric people without any bad behavior

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

10 months

What do you guys think of the name Athena for a girl? Especially if she had been conceived in Athens?

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

Mfw he’s a lowbie but he tweets good

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

1 year

I’ve been on the Mediterranean for a week. Completely gave up seed oils (I’ve only been having white fish, white wine, and olive oil) and despite being a ginger it gave me the ability to tan

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 months

@AutismCapital @signulll She went out trying to have fun and had a vulnerable experience, which she was good-natured about while it was unfolding but sad about later. It’s weird to brand yourself as “autistic” then try to act wise about Feelings, social dynamics, and opine about social stuff in general

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

2 months

@coldhealing The world hasn’t passed him by. He’s in it and he’s joyful

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Mary

@MaryJackalope

3 months

@TroyOnyango Simultaneously so right and so wrong. Don’t be prohibited by your identity but there are certainly ingrained things you’ll have to work with. Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you cannot accept

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