Carpe Donktum🔹 @CarpeDonktum Twitter profile | Pikagi

Pikagi

Carpe Donktum🔹

@CarpeDonktum

394,506

Followers

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Following

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Media

23,335

Statuses

Eternally Sarcastic Memesmith. Content I post was "Doctored" by me 🎥 👨‍⚕️⚕️

Maga City, Kekistan

Joined May 2008

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

Pinned Tweet

@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 year

As a 3rd grade teacher, I often talk about Jesus with my students, they are so excited to hear about my faith. They point to the cross on wall and ask me about the resurrection. Some have gotten baptized in the sink, as long as they don’t tell their parents. It’s our secret.

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Last Seen Profiles

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@PrimeNoah24

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@SungaiIIUM

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@StoatlyL

@Wzettairyouiki

@hyphy_damian

@culturaquito

@ashley017467615

@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 years

After 2 years of being suspended, I am having a hard time finding the words to express the thoughts and emotions I am feeling. This must be what John Fetterman feels like all the time.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 years

Some have been asking me to repost the video that got me banned and sued. Okie Doke. *Heads up Twitter, I WON the case, you can't ban me again for reposting.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 months

The push to "cool down the rhetoric" is the final boss level of 8 years of gaslighting. After spending nearly a decade calling us nazis, white supremacists, russian spies, extremists, racists, bigots, insurrectionists, fascists, and terrorists. The arrogance is off the charts

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

3 months

If only Trump had abandoned a laptop full of videos of himself smoking meth, banging hookers, waving illegal firearms around, and emails detailing his scheme to sell his dad's influence to China... all of this could have been avoided.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 years

Why does sexual reassignment surgery only have 2 gender options?

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 month

The reason Trump’s ear bandage make Libs so angry is that it instantly reminds them that they are in fact the bad guys.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 year

Your country has been stolen from you. Your government no longer even attempts to represent your interests at home or abroad. Your elected officials despise you, and they are systematically stripping you of your liberties one by one. Your justice system no longer functions,

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

11 months

Am I going crazy or did the Libs call us all nazi's and antisemites for the last 7 years and then go into full Hamas fanboy mode when they started murdering Israeli civilians?

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

Thank you for demonstrating why we cannot allow voting by mail!

@AOC

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

4 years

Actually you just got ROCKED by teens on TikTok who flooded the Trump campaign w/ fake ticket reservations & tricked you into believing a million people wanted your white supremacist open mic enough to pack an arena during COVID Shout out to Zoomers. Y’all make me so proud. ☺️

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

It's not like President Trump left Ambassador Yovanovitch to die in Benghazi and then blamed it on a YouTube video.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

16 days

Jim Sciutto from CNN. This belongs in a museum.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

16 days

1.1 million people listening, and there is no free concert.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 month

In any other country, if the current leader disappeared for 4 days, and in the meantime, dropped out of the race via letter, and basically gave the keys to the kingdom to their least trusted ally... everyone would assume it was a coup.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 years

There is something written on the chinese spy ballon but I can't make it out... can you guys read it?

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

I hired Donald Trump to fire organizations like the WHO.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 months

This is my favorite moment from the debate.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

BREAKING: @dennisrodman has a message for you. DO NOT miss this very IMPORTANT announcement!

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Yesterday @ABC said that the following was a "mistake" - Using footage from a Kentucky Gun Range - Digitally stabilizing the video - Applying an exposure filter to make it darker - Cropping out the American spectators - Applying a Grain filter to make it seem lower quality

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 month

Trump has been talking for an hour, seamlessly transitioning between riffing on politics, telling stories, cracking jokes, and his prepared speech. Less than a week after being shot. Biden can't make it 5 minutes without having a complete meltdown. What a contrast.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 year

BREAKING: Trump was temporarily placed in a holding cell between two other inmates being processed for petty theft. I am being told that Trump had a short conversation with one of them and they will be dining together tonight in Mar-a-Lago.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Noooooooo Joe, NOT DURING THE APOLOGY!

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

18 days

BREAKING: Kamala says she was inspired to steal Trump's "no taxes on tips" idea after she saw how easy it was for Tim to steal valor.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

6 years

Jim Acosta being reintroduced back into the Press Briefing Room. He was cautious at first, but he seems to be adjusting just fine.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Whoever this is, regardless of their party affiliation, should lose their press pass and be banned from the capitol building. @mattgaetz @RepAndyBiggsAZ @Jim_Jordan @DevinNunes

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 months

Imagine trying to get the greatest president in the history of the country to resign 4 months before the election because of a cold and a stutter. Something here doesn't add up.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

CNN just did a 20 minute segment on my meme, condemning it for "exploiting children" This was broadcast from the same studio in which CNN panelists and hosts called the Covington Kids NAZIS.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Proud to count this American Patriot among my friends. Love you Owen!

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

In case this is my last day on twitter... I regret nothing. I love you all. MAGA2020!

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

They called him a Russian Agent every day for 3 years... so did you. How about you sit this one out.

@CBSNews

CBS News

5 years

President Trump has retweeted a photoshopped image of Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer in front of the Iranian flag

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

BREAKING: Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi announce that should the Senate fail to convict President Trump, they will immediately draft Articles of Impeachment citing "Obstruction of Impeachment" due to effectiveness of President Trump's defense team.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I just had an epiphany. Joe Biden is quite literally the embodiment of what Democrats BELIEVE Donald Trump is... but isn't. A corrupt, bitter, creepy old man with dementia. A man with below average intelligence and thin skin, who lashes out at anyone that questions him.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

ANYONE who attacks a teacher like this should finish their education from a jail cell.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 month

This is unbelievable, why did you do this @jaketapper ? Have you no decency?

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Last one... I swear. Greta reacts to #FartGate

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Remember when the entire media had a panic attack over Trumps comments on the Access Hollywood tape? While this was going on, those same people knew that Epstein was raping children... and then decided to cover it up. #EpsteinCoverup

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 years

Kevin McCarthy is fighting 1000% harder for the speaker position than he ever did for any of us.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

Reposting this for the "just let him go crowd" and the "it wasn't a dangerous situation" crowd. Sheep, the lot of you. You couldn't pay me enough money to do what Police do.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

My favorite moment from the #ImpeachmentHearings today.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I fixed Elizabeth Warrens campaign dance. You're welcome.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Only YOU can prevent Fake News Dumpster Fires.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Can I get a fact check on this? Doctored or Real?

@SwampDog4614

Patrick Bateman

5 years

@CarpeDonktum @Acosta

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Chris Wallace got owned and threw a temper tantrum. That was glorious.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but the Constitution of the the United States doesn't just disappear because of a virus. Pass it on.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 year

NOBODY actually believes that Trump is an evil mastermind, so why is he being indicted over and over and over again? Because he is an on-going threat to the establishment, and he exposed them. Regardless of whether you like him or not, THE SYSTEM is telling you who they fear.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

What singular event or moment cemented your support of President Trump. Mine: When I watched a video of Trump being interviewed by Oprah in 1988 and I realized it wasn't just talk, he had been saying the same thing for 28 years. #TrumpEpiphany

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

6 years

The State of the Democratic Party: Hurting #SOTU

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

Fact check please @CNN

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 years

I have returned bearing gifts.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Hate me for saying it, but the net result of "WW3" was - Trump looks strong - Iran looks weak - Pelosi looks petty - Dems look hypocritical - Obama looks naive - MSM looks hysterical - Canada looks like a pussy - A terrorist looks dead - Iranians look angry at their leader

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Rep @IlhanMN claims she’s “stricken with PTSD" because of the Iran situation. For the good of the country, you should resign immediately for disrespecting veterans who are ACTUALLY experiencing PTSD. You have Pre Trump Reelection Disorder.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

2 months

In case you just woke up from a long nap, the only existential threat we face in this country, is the Democrat Party.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

@HillaryClinton @realDonaldTrump He is doing everything he can to save lives... I mean, it's not like he got the call and then went back to bed—leaving everyone to die, and then blamed it on a YouTube video.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

CONFIRMED: Hillary Clinton paid a foreign spy to compile a dossier on Trump based on Russian sources. That dossier was the sole source used for the FISA warrants. The FBI used taxpayer dollars to pay the spy. The highest levels of government were aware of all of this.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Basing your entire campaign on a LIE... Bold strategy Creepy Joe. #Biden2020

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

There is a team of doctors dedicated 24/7 too keeping Nancy from falling apart.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I just got blocked of FaceBook by someone I have known since I was 12. Not because I started a fight or said something mean. I simply responded to his political post in a calm, respectful manner with an alternate point of view. 2019 is ridiculous

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

An Idiots Guide to Response on Political Twitter A thread.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I can't speak for all of you... but it wouldn't bother me one bit if #GoFuckYourselfCNN trended all day today. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I have started a GoFundMe to send Tori on a vacation. Anyone that has to deal with this twerp definitely deserves it. I'll start with a $50 donation.

Tweet card media

Send #TargetTori on a Vacation, organized by Carpe Donktum

David Leavitt Award-Winning Multimedia Journalist. Bylines: CBS, AXS, Yahoo, Examiner, e… Carpe Donktum needs your support for Send #TargetTori on a Vacation

www.gofundme.com

@David_Leavitt

David Leavitt 🎲🎮🧙‍♂️🌈

5 years

This @target manager Tori is not honoring the price of their items per massachusetts law

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

@CNNPolitics This needs to be fixed immediately. When I lay dying of bat soup fever, I want to be able to say that the task force may not have been the most qualified, but goddamn they were a diverse bunch.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

11 months

I kept silent for nearly 3 years, but it is time for me to speak out. I was sexually assaulted by @ProjectLincoln and @CNN in the restroom of an Indiana truck stop. As a transwoman, I do not need to provide any evidence of this. Please demonetize them immediately @YouTube

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

6 years

THIS IS ELECTION TAMPERING. I was sent this video by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous, I have blurred the reflections to obscure their identity. The attendant told this person "Don't go making a fool of yourself", after they complained... THIS MUST GO VIRAL.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

They mock him behind his back and cower before him. Children often talk tough when the teacher leaves the room, it's a coping mechanism for not being in control.

@ianbremmer

ian bremmer

5 years

This happens at every NATO summit with Trump. Every G7. Every G20. The US President is mocked by US allies behind his back.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I don't care if @RepGosar did this on his own or if a staffer came up with it... EPIC.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

BREAKING: Ryder Truck with 19 boxes of Iowa Democratic Ballots found at the Broward Airport. DNC scrambles to get the new found votes counted.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Hey @ChrisCuomo , I heard you disapprove of special effects. Let's get after it.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Sorry about the wait on this, real life happens. Poor little Blue Adam Schiff.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Swalells fart has attracted more attention than his Presidential Campaign ever did. #FartGate

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I love this dude. Honestly can't believe people hate this guy. Never Change @realDonaldTrump

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

If members of President Trump's cabinet came to me and asked me to help them subvert his agenda, the agenda that the American people voted for... I wouldn't wait till after I left the White House to alert the country or the president. What's up with that Nikki?

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I haven't seen Democrats this upset since Republicans freed their slaves. #ItsOkayToBeWhite

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

@HillaryClinton Instead of sending everyone to a propaganda site, why don't you email your friends and family the IG report which shows that you paid a British Spy to gather bullshit from a foreign power to influence the 2016 election... but still lost.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

What really happened during the #DemDebate technical difficulties.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

16 days

Jim, I want to congratulate you on the most savage self-own ever tweeted.

@jimsciutto

Jim Sciutto

16 days

It’s not an interview when the person asking the questions has endorsed you and is a donor to your campaign.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Is there a more stomach turning worm than Adam Schiff? I have a seething hatred for that lying, smirking, pompous jerk that I can't explain. He genuinely makes me feel like I am in the presence of evil.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

MY STATEMENT ADDRESSING ATTEMPTS BY THE MSM AND ANTIFA TO RELEASE MY NAME. @HuffPost @BuzzFeed @CNN @MSNBC @CBS @NBC @ABC

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

8 months

Nikki Haley would be an excellent VP pick for Trump. I would also suggest Mike Pence as Chief of Staff, Mitt Romney as Secretary of Defense, Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, and Hannibal Lecter as Secretary of Health.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

CNN: We are the most trusted name in news! Also CNN: WE ARE NOT FAKE NEWS Also Also CNN: We just settled a huge lawsuit against us because of our Fake News.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

@bubbaprog Man, I just can't believe how bold some of these Hollywood people are becoming, first Ricky, and now Vince. If this keeps up people might realize that they live in a free country, and it's ok to have different opinions than the ones shouted at you on TV.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

Public Service Announcement Don't elect people with dementia to become the President of the United States.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

NEW VIDEO: Presented without comment... except this one.

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Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Name a worse husband than George Conway.

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Carpe Donktum🔹

6 years

2016 Jussie: Trump is gonna be indicted. 2017 Jussie: Trump is gonna be indicted. 2018 Jussie: Trump is gonna be indicted. 2019 Jussie: I got indicted.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Tonights coverage of the #VirginiaRally on @abc

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Carpe Donktum🔹

1 year

BREAKING: I have received NEW FOOTAGE of the terrorist plot against the road flag. Footage obtained from across the street suggests that the entire thing may have been staged by @AOC .

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

4 years

Live shot of the Press Briefing today #PressBriefing

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Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Hey @RealJamesWoods , I can only speak for myself, but I don't think I am alone here... We need you, please come back.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Overheard between two CNN hosts, “Is this all Schiff has? I've heard all of this before and it wasn't convincing then either. I thought they had more evidence than just guessing what Trump was thinking. This isn't going to play well in November unless they have an actual crime.”

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

I just listened to @RepSwalwell say that President Trump needs to "prove his innocence" A remarkable slipup from the inquisitor left, a rare bit of honesty. They are openly operating on a justice system based on assumed guilt... A COMPLETELY UNAMERICAN WITCHHUNT!

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Nancy Pelosi rips up President Trump's speech... this is all they have... Tantrums.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

1 year

Dear Bette, I heard the tragic news, and I couldn't stand by and watch you suffer. I have set up a gofundme to raise the $8 for your blue checkmark Any money raised OVER that amount will go to a charity choosen by @elonmusk Be the wind beneath her wings

@BetteMidler

bettemidler

1 year

Elon took my blue check away! I’m unverified! After all these years and thousands of tweets and free content, this worm has the nerve to de-certify me!

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

@HillaryClinton I can't speak for the rest of America, but GO FUCK YOURSELF HILLARY.

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

New Pinned Tweet... what do you think?

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@CarpeDonktum

Carpe Donktum🔹

5 years

Now that this story is CONFIRMED, when does @IlhanMN get arrested for Immigration Fraud and when does Laura Loomer get her account back? Ilhan Omar DID marry her brother, reveals Somali community leader

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