Parody for
#Brewers
GM. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day"
#FTC
#Cubs
postseason schedule:
MON: No game
TUE: No game
WED: No game
THR: No game
FRI: No game
SAT: No game
SUN: No game
Enjoy watching the
#Brewers
on TV for the 2nd straight year ass clown cubs fans!
#EverybodyIn
on the offseason with your $220 million failed payroll & shit GM!
#Cubs
postseason schedule:
Thursday: No game
Friday: No game
Saturday: No game
Sunday: No game
Monday: No game
Tuesday: No game
Wednesday: No game
Enjoy watching the
#Brewers
on TV ass clown cub fans!!!
#EverybodyIn
on the offseason.
THEO'S LEAGUE MY ASS!
THEO $211m
Yu $21m 5th worst WHIP in MLB
Heyward $22.5m 0.5 WAR
Chatwood $12.5m 1.4 WHIP
STEARNS $126m
Yelich $9.7m Leads NL in ๐ฃ, SB, OBP, SLG, OPS, OPS+
Moose $7m 3rd in NL in ๐ฃ
Davies $2.6m 3rd in NL in ERA
Woody $0.5m 2nd in NL in Wins
FUCK THE CUBS
Yelich has more RBI's against the Cards this year than Bryant & Schwarber have against all of MLB COMBINED AND ADDED TOGETHER!! In fact, he has more RBI's against the Cards than any cub has against MLB this year. Put that in your pipe and smoke it cubs fans!!! Fuck yeah &
#FTC
!
Cubs fans boo Ryan Braun as a cheater and then turn around and cheer for wife beater Addison Russell. The height of hypocrisy from the most ignorant douche bag fan base in sports. Fuck the Cubs and their FANS!!! Go
#Brewers
!!!!
Cubs fans boo Ryan Braun as a cheater and then go ahead and cheer for wife beater Addison Russell. The height of hypocrisy from the biggest douche bag ass clown fan base in sports. Go
#brewers
. Fuck the cubs!!!
Suck it
@ColinCowherd
cow turd!!! Bucks up 3-1!!! I thought the bucks were a regular season team not a play off team like your big market Celtics!!! Your too busy sucking on big market cock to know a great team when you see one!!! Go
#bucks
!!!
Check out these Cactus league OBPs:
Cain 382
Yelich 487
Braun 400
Shaw 261
Aggie 447
Yaz 457
Moose 341
Arcia 300
Team OBP for projected starting lineup: .385
Don't tell me this
#Brewers
lineup isn't going to fucking rake!!!!! Fuck yeah and fuck the cubs!!
Wait a minute,
#Bucks
traded 2 guys who donโt play and some 2nd round picks for Mirotic who averages 16.5 points, 8 rebounds and is the 9th best 3 pt shooter in the NBA???
That is David Stearns-esque!!!!
Go get em Horst!!!
F yeah and fuck the cubs!!!
I fucked around and signed the best player in baseball to a team friendly 7 year contract extension today. What the fuck did you do today? Time to get fucking shit pickled!!! Fuck yeah and fuck the cubs! Go
#brewers
!
Check out these ERAs of the vaunted Cubs pitching staff after a weekend series against the AAA lineup that the Rangers are putting out there:
Yu Darvish 10.13
Pedro Strop 13.50
Mike Montgomery 27.00
Carl Edwards Infinity
Fuck yeah &
#FTC
!
Packers should trade up for Joe Burrow and have him sit behind Rodgers for 3 years like Rodgers sat behind Favre. Letโs go 3 for 3 in hall of fame QBs. This Burrow guy broke the all time CFB for completion % in a season. He is so accurate. Reminds me of Rodgers. Fuck da cubs
Hey
#Brewers
fans, after watching Machado play for 3 games this series I have concluded he is a dirty player and a general all-around douche bag. I am so glad we didn't end up trading for him. Arcia is basically matching his offensive production in the series anyways.
Ok
#Brewers
I love you so much! Win or lose you have meant so much to me! We have so much to be proud of this season! Fuck everybody and fuck the dodgers!!!! Fuck the cubs too!!!
Thoughts and prayers for Yelich. Letโs hope a broken knee cap is only a season ending injury and doesnโt threaten his career. If theyโre is anyone that can come back from this, itโs Yeli.
Hey
@ColinCowherd
CowTurd how does it feel to have your big market darling Boston Celtics get their ass kicked two games in a row? You are a fucking mental midget that sucks big market dig to get ratings, sacrificing all credibility, rationality and dignity!!! FUCK YOU!!!!
While the
#Brewers
struggle vs shit pitchers, they take it to big name pitchers. So don't worry bout Scherzer, he aint shit. Pitchers crew has beat this year:
Scherzer
Keuchel
Flaherty (x3)
Greinke
Lester
DeGrom
Sndergaard
Hendricks
Ryu
Strasburg
Arrieta
Sony Grey
F DA NATS!
Let's compare FA/traded pitchers stats this year:
Jhoulys Chacin 3.32 ERA
Jose Quintana 4.47 ERA
Yu Darvish 4.95 ERA
Chris Archer 5.01 ERA
Sonny Grey 5.48 ERA
Lance Lynn 6.34 ERA
Alex Cobb 6.56 ERA
#Brewers
#InSternsWeTrust
#FuckTheCubs
UNPOPULAR OPINION: I hate how the
#Bucks
organization & many Wisconsinites kiss Kareem's ass. The guy HATED Milwaukee while he was here, demanded a trade, and lobbied his ass out of town. He did get the city a championship, I understand, but should have stayed his whole career
One of the best TV watching days in history:
8:30-3pm: Masters
3pm-6pm:
#Brewers
6pm-8pm:
#Bucks
8pm-9pm: Game of Thrones Premiere
Fuck yeah and fuck the pussy cubs who canโt play in the snow!!!
Just when you think Iโve been on a three week bender I pull Yasmani Grandal out of my ass!!! Fuck Vegas with their over/under 83 wins for the crew! Grandal will experience the same power surge that Yelich did playing at Miller Park! Fuck yeah and fuck the cubs!!!
#brewers
win! Loved Matt LaPayโs call โnot today mother fuckers!!!โ Well maybe he didnโt say it exactly like that but you get the point. Fuck yeah and fuck the cards!!!
This SHOULD b the
#Brewers
lineup against RHP:
OBP v RHP
Grandal 368
Thames 360
Yelich 468
Moose 352
Huira 339
Braun 337
Cain 306
Arcia 305
Time to shake things up CC! Fuck the cubs!
Ace schmace. List of supposed 'aces' the
#Brewers
have beaten in 2019:
Max Scherzer
Miles Mikolas
Jose Quintana
Jacob deGrom
Noah Syndergaard
Not bad for the first 5 weeks of the season! Fuck yeah and fuck the cubs!!!
Top hits in
#Brewers
history:
1 Cooper in 82 ALCS
2 T Plush in 11 NLDS
3 Braun 08 vs cubs
4 Yount 3000
5 Molitor 39
6 Sveum Easter
7 Braun 08 granny vs Phillies
8 Moose 18 walkoff rockies
9 Arcia 163
10 Woodruff vs Kershaw
Add omissions in comments. F yeah & fuck the cubs!!!
Fuck the Cardinals
Fuck the Cubs
Fuck the national media
Fuck the Cubs
Fuck the lack of a salary cap
Fuck the Cubs
Fuck Rob Manfred
Fuck the Cubs
Fuck big market clubs
Fuck the Cubs
Fuck injuries
Go
#Brewers
and FUCK THE CUBS!!!!
DICHOTOMY OF THE DAY: Chief release Kareem Hunt on the same day that the
#Cubs
resign Addison Russell. Can you guess which one is a classy organization that actually has standards and which one is the biggest cesspool of shit in the history of civilization? Fuck the Cubs!!!!
GOOD PITCHING BEATS GOOD HITTING MY FUCKING ASS!
Big name pitchers that the
#Brewers
have beaten this year:
DeGrom
Scherzer
Verlander
Syndergaard
Hendricks
Ryu
Strasburg
Arrieta
And we're less than half way thru the year! Fuck yeah and fuck the Cubs! Go Brew Crew!!!
This wonโt go viral cuz itโs negative but itโs true: if big market Red Sox canโt sign Mookie Betts how the fuck r the
#brewers
gonna sign Yelich? Itโs not going to happen so enjoy Yeli while u can.
Sad facts of the only sport without a salary cap.
Fuck no & fuck the cubs
Welcome back fucking Christian Yelich!!!!! Hooommmeeerrriinnn' watch your graceful flight!!!!! Fuck yeah and fuck the cubs!!!! Go
#brewers
!
#ThisIsMyCrew
Between now and mid July, thereโs just 7 out 38 games that the Brewers face a team over .500. If they went 24-14 during this stretch, they would be 54-38 on the season. During this time, the Cubs will have 18 games vs teams over .500. I predict the Brewers will be in 1st by then.
Since sober Stearns traded for him, Jordan Lyles is 5-1 with a 2.56 ERA and 197 opponent BA. During the same period of time, Bumgarner is 4-1 with a 2.91 ERA. Only difference is Bumgarner makes $10mm more per season. Fuck yeah and fuck the cubs!
#InStearnsWeTrust