I'm excited to introduce my new personal advisor and confidante: a huge fucking weirdo named Wormtongue. plus he looks like complete shit. please trust him with any secrets of the kingdom you might have
Oh so B*rnie wants to get rid of billionaires but he himself has a net worth of 0.2% of a billion?? I get all my politics news from a Harry Potter themed news channel
if the first words of your recipe blog post are "I first tasted this in Naples" and not "preheat your oven" then I will find you and drag your ass straight to hell
This is proof positive that Neuralink belong nowhere near the inside of a head. This is like your doctor asking Reddit for a potion that cures mesothelioma. The question is so stupid as to be disqualifying
Neuralink started a compression challenge. They're asking for people to find methods to losslessly (!!) compress files to 1/200th (!) the size but the files are extremely noisy so thats certainly not possible 🙁 (spectrogram of one randomly chosen file for illustration)
Pro Tip: Ask the girl to watch your drink while you go to the restroom. If she’s still there smiling with your drink 15 minutes later, she’s invested, and chances are she will go home with you.
I went through an orange light while a big line of traffic was in front of me and now I am stuck in the middle of this intersection! Look how sorry I am! how could this have happened yet again to me, the greatest driver in the world?
Yeah honey it's called Evangelion. It's a postmodern anime that challenges the norms of the genre and highlights the trauma inherent in conflict. Thats her pet sentient penguin, yeah. Never mind the teenage nudity
National security: if you see something, say something
(Whistleblowers reveal our crimes at home and abroad as well as the vast power and financial structures making perpetual conflict guaranteed)
No we meant if you see a brown person frowning on the train
While you're here, don't forget that Australia has illegally detained legitimate refugees in offshore and onshore detention centres for years and this has bipartisan support
WIFE: what are you looking at?
ME: a really dumb picture
(30 seconds pass)
WIFE: can you say that again
ME: a really dumb picture
WIFE: oh was it a mirror
Aurora Police Department did not use tear gas last night during the protest.
The reports that we used tear gas are FALSE.
Pepper spray was used after a small group of people gathered rocks/sticks, knocked over a fence, & ignored orders to move back. Tear gas was not used.
forget the 90s, now the early middle ages are in vogue -- everyone's vibing with serfdom, fey moods, base superstition, horse remedies, dying mysteriously from miasma, so on and so forth
I love being a parent more than I possible imagined. my life is ruined. my little dude kicks so much ass, and sometimes I cry from exhaustion. I would die for him. I will never know a moment of peace again
(Ad on CatTV)
after sleeping for 18 hours straight I simply have no time to waste when it comes to doing a huge gross puke on my owner's carpet for no discernable reason. that's why I trust the scientifically proven formula of Grass
twitter rules because you can tweet something like "Windows focus stealing is the worst thing to ever happen" and someone will ask you if you think it is worse than the Armenian Genocide and then you have to publicly deny that it is
I'm a lazy SJW developer at a AAA studio. I hate fixing bugs or hitting the button that says "optimise". I could but I don't, because I hate working hard
I'm so sick of open world games where the only goal is to find a place and murder everybody there. why can't there be more open world games about having a nice time
MILLENIAL PRIORITIES: not dying in the climate apocalypse
BOOMER PRIORITIES: never paying tax ever again, teaching their new wife's shih tzu to howl the intro of Immigrant's Song
On a Venn diagram, 'people who bought Elons flame thrower' and 'people who jacked off to Kari from Mythbusters in her fart suit' forms a perfect circle